


The Distance

by whoviangirlfromgallifrey



Category: Chronicles of Narnia (Movies)
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-05
Updated: 2016-05-05
Packaged: 2018-06-06 15:28:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 23,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6759562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whoviangirlfromgallifrey/pseuds/whoviangirlfromgallifrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the death of her entire family, Susan Pevensie learns to remember what is important and tries to move on with her life, wondering why she was left behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Why?

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this little story popped into my head while listening to the LP single version of Evan and Jaron's song "The Distance" and simply would not leave me alone. I realize that most people interpret this song as a love song between a boyfriend and girlfriend but the lyrics are actually pretty ambiguous so for the purpose of this story, this song is more about love in general. This is my first attempt at a CoN story so bear with me and please review but be gentle. This story is basically about Susan after the end of The Last Battle as she remembers her family and friends and Narnia and Aslan after everyone she cares about has perished and gone to Aslan's country. Also, for the purposes of this story, I am basing my Susan off of the character as played by Anna Popplewell in the film series of CoN because I thought she was perfect as Susan.
> 
> Disclaimers: Anything that is recognized is not mine. This is written from a complete love of the stories in the Chronicles of Narnia and no profit is being made and copyright infringement is not intended.
> 
> Spoilers: None as this takes place after any of the books and is just my interpretation of Susan as an adult. However, it is helpful to know what is in the stories or it may be a little confusing, particularly the Last Battle.

Susan POV

It had been a year. Well, to be more specific, it had been a year, three days, 14 hours, 6 minutes and 24 seconds since my life had been irrevocably changed. Sure, I still woke up in the morning, got out of bed, went to work at the publishing house I had been working at for two years. I still wore the fashionable work clothes and put my hair up and did my makeup. However, none of it held the same meaning I had thought it used to so when I got home to the little flat I rented at the end of the night, I washed the makeup off, pulled off the fancy clothes and threw on something much less "fashionable" and curled up onto one end of the couch and cried. I had done this every night since I had gotten the news of my family's death. Everyone of them, my parents and my siblings had perished in a train accident outside of London. The officer at the door had apologized profusely for my loss and I had nodded woodenly before shutting the door in his face and crumpling to the floor against it, my sobs shaking my entire body as each name circled around my brain, Mum, Dad, Peter, Edmund, Lucy along with the one word I couldn't believe DEAD. I had gone through the motions of standing next to Aunt Alberta and Uncle Harold at the funeral and listening to the well wishes that came my way but none of those people knew what I knew.

'This is wrong. They shouldn't be in the ground like that. There is still so much they wanted to do. Peter was supposed to become a doctor and change the world, Ed so desperately wanted to see the rest of the world and Lucy….there was so much she should have been able to achieve' I thought angrily as I wiped away the tears that escaped my eyes.

I felt a slight tug on my arm and I looked up from the graves of my siblings, cousin, parents and friends to see Uncle Harold looking at me sadly.

"We have to get back to the house Susan," he said.

I turned back to the graves where the dirt was still fresh over the boxes holding the bodies of my loved ones and I shook my head.

"You go ahead. I want to stay a moment and pay my last respects," I said softly.

Both my aunt and uncle nodded and turned to leave me alone. I waited until I was sure that they were gone before I knelt on the damp earth, not caring whether my nice clothes got muddy. It hardly seemed important anymore anyway. Everything felt that way with them gone. I didn't speak, I just stayed kneeling beside their graves and crying silently as the rain that had started to fall mixed with the tears on my cheeks. After another minute of sitting there letting the rain soak me, I finally got up off my knees and made my way out of the graveyard and started the short walk back to my little flat, receiving some very odd looks from passersby but I didn't care anymore.

"Susan, come on. It's beautiful here and we've been waiting for you forever," Lucy said, her voice ringing with laughter as she twirled around in the sunlight that bathed everything in the beautiful field we were standing in.

I stood there in shock, staring at her. She looked absolutely beautiful, so radiant as if the sun was coming off of her rather than coming out of the sky.

"Lucy, you know that Susan can't keep up. She needs at least a two minute head start," I heard Edmund's teasing voice behind me.

I whirled around to see both him and Peter running toward where Lucy and I were standing.

"It's not possible," I said softly, more to myself than any of them as I looked at all of them in shock.

They all looked so happy and completely carefree, almost like they did when we grew up the first time in Narnia.

'No Susan, that was just a silly game you all played as children when Mother sent you away from the war,' the logical side of my brain screamed.

"Susan, come on. What's wrong?" Lucy asked, coming over and taking my hand.

I gasped in shock when I felt how real she felt to me and I couldn't help the sob that came out.

"No, you….you're all…." I said, pulling my hand away from her and backing away from the three of them, beautiful as angels and all smiling at me as if they were waiting for me to come home to them.

My eyes snapped open as I sat bolt upright in the bed, tears streaming down my face as I gasped in breath. I flipped on the little lamp on the bedside lamp and looked around the little bedroom that I slept in. My eyes darted around, looking for any trigger that would have caused the apparitions or dream or whatever it had been. They finally settled on a picture of myself and my siblings that mother had taken after we had come back from Narnia the second time, well, the last for Peter and I. Again, my brain logically rejected Narnia as a childhood game as it had been doing for years. I sighed and threw the blankets off my body, going over and putting the picture facedown on the little vanity table in the corner of the room before climbing back into bed and flipping off the light again. I sighed as I closed my eyes once again, hoping that I would have a dreamless rest of the night.


	2. Starting Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan visits her siblings graves and she begins to remember what she knew as a child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter just flowed for me because this is the chapter I had in my head when I started writing the story down and the timeline is a bit weird. This chapter is about three months after the first so it skips ahead a bit but I am going to try my hardest to make sure that I put enough in there to keep it from being too confusing.
> 
> Disclaimers: Anything that is recognized is not mine. This is written from a complete love of the stories in the Chronicles of Narnia and no profit is being made and copyright infringement is not intended.
> 
> Spoilers: None as this takes place after any of the books and is just my interpretation of Susan as an adult. However, it is helpful to know what is in the stories or it may be a little confusing, particularly the Last Battle.

Susan POV

I walked slowly down the street from my job to the graveyard. It had been three months since the dream about my siblings and every night since then, I would continue to dream about them and every night I would wake up crying and gasping for breath. I stopped against the small rock wall of the cemetery trying to gather some courage to walk into the cemetery and to the graves.

'Aslan give me strength,' I thought. 'Wait a minute…Aslan? Where did that come from? All of that was just a game.'

I straightened my shoulders and lifted my head, walking determinedly into the cemetery and up to the three headstones on the top of the green hillock overlooking the small pond where there were a couple of ducks gliding along the surface. My steps faltered as I made my way up the hill and I stopped completely when I stood before the three headstones silently. I glanced around to make sure that no one was around before I kneeled in the dirt and mud next to the headstone that said Peter's name. I ran my fingers over the dates on the cold, wet stone and felt my breath hitch in my throat as I tried to swallow down the sob in my throat.

"This wasn't supposed to happen to you," I said softly, "You were always supposed to be there for us and you were the one who was supposed to change the world."

I felt the tears slide down my cheeks as I continued to sit there looking at the slab of stone, each with a date so permanent etched into it that I wanted to scream. I moved on to Edmund next.

"And you….Ed, you understood me better than anyone other than Lucy. I keep thinking that when I need you to help with a problem you will be there. Everytime I have a problem to solve, I find myself thinking of what you would tell me, in that superior way you have but still with love under the surface," I said, the tears falling down my cheeks freely but I didn't bother to wipe them away.

Finally, I crawled through the dirt to Lucy's headstone and just sat there in the mud and dirt for a full minute sobbing.

"Lucy, I don't even know what to say. There is still so much you should have done and lived. You of all people had the most to offer the world so why were you taken with everyone else? It isn't fair although I suppose you would just say that you were perfectly happy with whatever it was that Aslan, or God or whoever had in store for you. You always knew one day that you would go back, even after he said you wouldn't be able to," I said, closing my eyes.

At that moment, I felt the wind pick up and I could have sworn that I heard a voice on that wind that sounded like Lucy.

"Susan, come home," it seemed to say as it caressed my tearstained cheeks.

My eyes flew open and I looked around for the source of the voice but saw I was alone in the graveyard and it was getting late. I got up off my knees and hurried out of the cemetery and down the street to my flat, once again receiving some very odd looks but not caring. Once I was safely back in my flat, I pulled off my muddy clothes and took a shower, washing the tears and makeup and dirt off my face and then pulling on my pajamas crawling into my bed, my wet hair hanging loose down my back once I had combed it.

"Susan, keep up. Peter is waiting in the garden for us and he said not to be late," Lucy said, grabbing my hand and pulling me down the corridors of Cair Paravel. It looked different somehow though, brighter than I remembered.

"Alright Lu, just slow down. I'm pretty sure he doesn't want us to get hurt before we make it to the garden," I said with a smile as she slowed down slightly but didn't release my hand.

Once we got to the garden, I could hear several voices that I recognized and as we came around one of the apple trees I could clearly see Peter, Edmund, Eustace, Jill Pole, Ms. Plummer and the Professor there talking and laughing with several of the fauns and creatures of Narnia from our reign as kings and queens. I also saw Caspian and Reepicheep and several other creatures and humans from our second journey into Narnia. Finally, my eyes settled on the great Lion himself, Aslan and I felt my face become flushed in embarrassment at being in his presence after all that I had said and done to forget Narnia existed.

"Aslan," Lucy cried happily as she let go of my hand and threw herself at the great lion. I watched them together and felt as if I were an outsider in a private party or meeting.

I turned away from watching them and nearly ran back the other way when I felt Aslan's eyes on me.

"Aslan," I whispered, bowing onto one knee in respect, although I avoided his eyes if I could.

"Susan. Come here my child," He said.

I rose from my position and came toward him, still looking at the ground and my feet.

"Susan, look at me my child," He said, which I did, feeling the tears stinging my eyes and blurring my vision, "Why have you forsaken Narnia and Me?"

"I'm sorry Aslan. It hurts too much to remember because I know I can never come back," I said.

"But you are back now," He said.

I knew this was true and couldn't help the question falling from my lips before I could stop it.

"Am I dead too?" I asked.

Aslan looked at me with those wise golden eyes and shook his head sadly, the mane looking like rays of sunlight.

"Your time has not yet come my child. I have another task for you before you can come to my country. I brought you here for the purpose of seeing that your siblings and friends are all quite happy and want the same for you," Aslan said.

"But why was I left behind?" I asked, looking at each of the faces in front of me and finally settling on my three siblings.

"Because dear one, you still have a life to lead. I have a path set out for you and you must follow it before you can return to me," He said.

"But I miss everyone so much," I said.

"Which is why you shall see them again but you must not forget Narnia or it's lessons," He said.

My eyes flew open and I sat up, gasping as tears once again slid down my face. I shook my head to try and dislodge the dream but then thought better of it and instead just laid back against the pillows and closed my eyes, the tears soaking into the fabric of the pillowcase.

"I'm so sorry Aslan. I do remember everything. Please forgive me," I whispered into the darkness of my bedroom.

Just before I fell asleep again, I thought I heard the faint roar of a lion along with the laughter of my siblings and friends as they lived in peace with the great Lion.


	3. Making New Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan meets a handsome stranger who could help her find the answers she seeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I have never had a story eat at me to be written quite like this one. The words are literally just writing themselves, which is great because usually a plot hits and then I have to come up with the details around it. Anyway, here is chapter 3. Enjoy. Oh, and this chapter simply picks up where the last left off so Susan is still only three months out from the death of her family.
> 
> Disclaimers: Anything that is recognized is not mine. This is written from a complete love of the stories in the Chronicles of Narnia and no profit is being made and copyright infringement is not intended.
> 
> Spoilers: None as this takes place after any of the books and is just my interpretation of Susan as an adult. However, it is helpful to know what is in the stories or it may be a little confusing, particularly the Last Battle.

Susan POV

I woke up slowly, the sunlight coming into the room through the curtains. I squinted as I got up out of bed, realizing that it was the first day there had been sunshine in nearly three months and I couldn't help the small smile on my face as I hurried over and threw open the curtains, letting the light flood the room. After the dream of the previous night I felt somehow lighter, as if maybe things could get better eventually. I quickly showered and threw on a light blue dress with little white dots all over it and then fixed my hair simply. I then slipped on a pair of Mary Jane's and hurried out of the flat and down the street toward the cemetery. There was no uncertainty this time as I ran through the gate and all the way up the hill to the headstones of my siblings. I ran my hand over each of the headstones before falling to my knees on the wet grass.

"You really are happy, aren't you?" I asked breathlessly as I sat there on my knees, the sunlight momentarily becoming brighter as if that was my answer.

I finally looked up at the sky, closing my eyes at the sunlight and just felt it warm my skin.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do and I'm not even sure how I am supposed to do it alone but I'm so sorry I ever pretended to forget. It just seemed easier for me to bury the pain under all the makeup and stockings and gossip and parties. I'm so ashamed that you all left on such bad terms with me and I wish there was a way to take it back," I said softly, opening my eyes and looking at the three headstones in front of me.

I heard the snap of a twig and my eyes flew open and I looked around for the source of the noise. I saw the groundskeeper working on trimming a plant about 100 feet from where I was kneeling in the dirt. I got up off the ground and dusted the mud off my knees as best I could before I made my way over toward the older man.

"Excuse me sir," I said when he looked up and smiled.

"What can I do for you young lady?" he asked politely.

"Um, I was just over there," I said, gesturing back over toward the headstones, "and I was wondering if you knew of a good place to get some flowers for my family."

"There's a nice little florist shop about a half mile from here," he said with a friendly smile.

"Thank you sir," I turned and walked away and out of the cemetery.

As I was walking down the street, enjoying the feel of the sunshine, I passed a side street with a little church on it. I stopped for a minute and looked at the stained glass pane window that was sparkling from the light coming from inside the church and I felt myself gasp at the image. It was a fairly small pane of glass at the very top of the stone church that I could not take my eyes from and on it was the image of a lion, which brought the conversation from the dream back to my mind and I found myself walking toward and up the stone steps of the small church. Once I was inside, I made my way to the front row of pews and slid inside, just staring up at the empty pulpit and feeling fresh tears come to the surface as I though about everything that had happened. I sat in the silent peace until I heard the sound of footsteps echoing on the stone floor. I quickly wiped the tears off my face and turned to see someone coming toward me slowly.

"I'm sorry. I thought that the church was open," I said quickly as I stood up.

"It is. Are you alright miss?" the young man, a minister from the look of him, asked me slowly.

I sniffled slightly and looked down at my feet where I stood, feeling foolish.

"I….um….I seem to have lost my way," I said to my feet.

The young man smiled when I looked up at him with a tearstained face and seemed to know that I didn't mean location when I spoke. He gestured for me to sit down and then sat down beside me, looking up at the empty pulpit.

"I daresay you are in the right place then. If you don't mind my asking, what happened?" he asked.

"I lost everything I loved," I said simply, not wanting to burden him with an explanation.

He looked at me expectantly and waited for me to start speaking. I looked up at the stained glass window pane once again before turning back and smiling at the young clergyman. He returned a smile and I found myself sitting there and telling him my whole story about the death of my entire family and even before, how I had become enamored of cosmetics, stockings and gossip to bury my pain. I must have talked for two hours straight because when I finally came to the end of my story, I felt my cheeks flush in embarrassment.

"Forgive me. I didn't realize I talked so much," I said softly.

"Don't apologize. If talking helps then by all means continue," he said with a smile.

"I really should go. Thank you for your time," I said softly as I stood.

The young minister stood and stepped out of the pew, allowing me to do the same and walked me to the door of the church where I had come in. I dared to take one more glance at the pulpit and the stained glass window pane before I looked back at him.

"I hope you will join our little church on Sunday Miss…" he trailed off.

"Pevensie. Susan Pevensie and thank you but…" I trailed off myself, trying to think of a good explanation.

He seemed to understand my hesitation and he nodded slowly with a slightly disappointed look on his face and I felt guilty.

'Aslan told us to try and find him here in our world. He said we would know Him by another name here,' I thought guiltily as I looked at the little stone church.

"Well Miss Pevensie, I wish to give you something to help you find what you are searching for," the young man said, disappearing into his study for a moment before coming out with a bible in his hands, "If you decide to join our little church you may find it very useful. I hope you consider my offer."

"Thank you reverand. I will and thank you again for your time," I said as I took the offered gift and left the church building.

I smiled and waved goodbye to the preacher before I began to make my way back down the street toward my original destination.


	4. The First Step Toward Growth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every journey begins with a small step. All it takes is the courage to make that step, or change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, just so there isn't any confusion I forgot to mention in the last chapter that all the measurements I use will be American because I am most familiar with them. This DOES NOT mean that Susan is in America, it is just that my brain is a bit fuzzy on the metric system so please just go with it. Anyway, enough babble, here is chapter 4.
> 
> Disclaimers: Anything that is recognized is not mine. This is written from a complete love of the stories in the Chronicles of Narnia and no profit is being made and copyright infringement is not intended.
> 
> Spoilers: None as this takes place after any of the books and is just my interpretation of Susan as an adult. However, it is helpful to know what is in the stories or it may be a little confusing, particularly the Last Battle.

Susan POV

I was sitting in the living room later that night, listening to the radio and saw the bible I had received earlier from the reverand sitting on the small table in the corner of the room. I got up, turning the radio off and picking up the bible off the table, and going back over to sit down in the armchair. I opened it slowly and just began to read it. Over the next few hours, I read page after page, discovering each of the stories about a God who loved His people but punished them when it was necessary and I was once again reminded of Aslan and his words to me in the dream from the previous night.

"Oh, Lucy. How could I ever have been so wrong about what you said?" I asked into the silence of my little flat.

I set the bible down on the arm of the chair and let my head fall back onto the chair as I closed my eyes and felt the tears slide down my cheeks and tried to formulate a prayer.

'Aslan…or God, I'm….um…I'm not sure how to do this anymore. I need help to see what you want of me. I know that there is some sort of path but I need help to find it so, um…if it isn't too much trouble, I'd appreciate a bit of help. Thank you,' I thought, feeling a little foolish but much lighter as I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling.

~Sunday Morning~

I hurried down the street, holding my coat tightly around myself to keep the wind from freezing me more than it already was. I got to the little church within a matter of minutes and I slowed, making my way up the steps and into the stone building. I felt the eyes of the churchgoers on my back as I made my way to the front of the church building, sitting in the pew I had occupied just a few days earlier. I sat there quietly as the reverand came into the church and began to greet people as he came up to the pulpit. When he passed and saw me sitting in the pew, he stopped and smiled at me.

"You came Miss Pevensie," he said.

I nodded and smiled slightly, still feeling a bit uncomfortable. He seemed to sense this and took my hand, giving it a light squeeze before he let go and walked up to the pulpit. The young minister looked out at the church and greeted the parishioners before bowing his head reverently in prayer. I followed suit, listening to the way that he prayed and feeling slightly embarrassed at the way I had prayed the last few nights. When he had finished praying, I found myself transfixed on the sermon he delivered, hanging on every word and following along with the scriptures he referenced closely in order to understand the lesson. It was very interesting and I was grateful to him for having given me the bible in order to follow along.

Once the service had ended, everyone began to file out, saying a word or two to the minister as they left. I followed a few of the older women out of the building before someone stopped me and pulled me aside.

"Miss Pevensie was it?" the young lady asked me when I turned to look at her.

I nodded my affirmation at her query and she smiled.

"It's a pleasure. My name is Hannah. I noticed you looked a bit uncomfortable and thought maybe you could use a friend," she said, extending her hand for me to shake it.

"Please call me Susan," I said softly, taking her hand and shaking it.

"Well then Susan, I would appreciate it if you would join my little ladies church organization," she said.

I was about to shake my head no but the reverand walked up to our conversation and overheard the last part of it.

"Susan would be the perfect addition to the ladies organization to help with the craft bazaar. Good for her too by getting involved with something," he said with a smile at me.

"Well, I guess I could," I said quietly, not really having any other choice.

"Splendid. I will leave it to you ladies to work out the details," he said, walking away again.

"Oh this is so wonderful. You will enjoy the other ladies company. Just meet us here tomorrow afternoon to start making plans for the craft bazaar," Hannah said, practically jumping up and down and reminding me of Lucy when she was younger.

I couldn't help the giggle that escaped as she hurried away to tell some of the other ladies still standing around the church.

"Miss Pevensie, if I could have a word," the reverand asked quietly.

I nodded and followed him out of the church and outside.

"I noticed during the sermon that you were very closely following everything I was saying," he said once we were outside on the steps.

"Is that a problem?" I asked slowly.

"Not at all but it just struck me as odd because I have never seen a parishioner follow the bible quite so closely and I was just curious as to your background with church going," he said.

"Well, my parents took myself and my siblings when we were very young but once we got a bit older, we never went to church with any kind of regularity, except for Lucy," I said softly, looking down at my feet when I said her name out loud.

"I see. Well, I'm glad that you came today and hope that you will continue to join us for worship," he said with an understanding smile.

"I will. It felt very nice although I think I still have lots of questions," I said before turning to walk back to my flat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so the prayer that Susan is saying at the beginning is not meant to offend anyone. It is simply my interpretation of her character. After all those years of having denied things like prayer and church I wanted to give the feeling that she would be slightly awkward when it came to those two sort of things, hence the reason she says such an awkward prayer and why she feels so uncomfortable with the church situation. I am extremely religious myself so this was written with the utmost respect for the religious aspect of the story so please do not flame in reviews about the way I wrote it. Go ahead and review because I do appreciate each review I get and they help make me a better author.


	5. Family Ties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter is a bit different from the others because it is from several different POV's. I didn't want to do it but it just seemed to work and gave me a chance to get my teeth into some of the other characters of the series. The deceased family members look on in a bit of pain as their loved one struggles with their fate and hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be warned that there is a bit of a Susan/Caspian reference in here but I tried to make it as slight as I could because although I liked the film and am not opposed to the pairing, I want this story to be focused on Susan and her life after the series. Also, this chapter is sort of intertwined with the previous one.
> 
> Disclaimers: Anything that is recognized is not mine. This is written from a complete love of the stories in the Chronicles of Narnia and no profit is being made and copyright infringement is not intended.
> 
> Spoilers: None as this takes place after any of the books and is just my interpretation of Susan as an adult. However, it is helpful to know what is in the stories or it may be a little confusing, particularly the Last Battle.

Peter POV

It had been nearly four months since Susan found out about the train accident and for the whole of that time she had been miserable. Lucy had pleaded with Aslan to be able to try and send her some comfort but He had refused, saying that she needed to grieve and that He had a plan for Susan just like He had for each of us. Lucy had accepted somewhat grudgingly until Mr. Tumnus had come to visit her at Cair Paravel and take her out for a picnic in the Shuddering Woods. I had looked at Aslan gravely after they had gone off together and His wise eyes seemed to sense that I had a question.

"Yes son of Adam?" he asked.

"I understand that you have a plan and that no one is told any story other than their own but why may we not go to Susan and help her through this?" I asked, watching as my sister cried herself to sleep once again much as she had for the past three months.

"Susan has much she needs to work through. Her own personal disbelief and her grief about each of you being gone from her world but if it helps, she will smile again soon. I have given her all the help she needs if she simply learns to ask for it," Aslan said.

"Is that the lesson she has to learn before she can come here?" I asked.

"There are many lessons that she must learn. She must become Queen Susan the Gentle once more before she can return to my country my child," He said softly, His eyes getting gentle as He looked on at Susan as she slept restlessly.

I turned and looked back out over the kingdom I had once ruled, although it was now vastly different from the one I had ruled when I lived. This one was much bigger and brighter and more real, there was no war or hurt and everyone was well cared for and Aslan was with each of us always.

Caspian POV

I had forgotten how beautiful she was. Of course I knew that what we had experienced during our time together probably never would have lasted and I had loved the Star's daughter deeply but I still found myself breathless in her presence. However, she had eyes only for her brothers and sister and I could see behind her eyes how unhappy and upset the deaths of the three Kings and Queen of Old had made her. However, Aslan had made sure He assured her we were all well and happy. He had even gone so far as to promise her that her time would come and she would be with them again and I couldn't help the stab of jealousy that had coursed through me as I realized that they had someone to mourn them, someone who would remember their names and the stories about them. They had a family, even though Susan was the only one left of that family.

"You seem deep in thought, son of Adam," Aslan said, coming behind me silently.

I jumped slightly when He made His presence known but smiled sadly.

"I am grieving for someone who does not have anyone to do it for them," I said softly.

"Queen Susan the Gentle?" he asked the question as a statement.

I nodded in acknowledgement of his query as I watched her trying to go about her life and struggling to keep the sadness buried inside of her.

"You are not the only one who grieves for her. The siblings of Queen Susan do much the same," He said sadly, "Do you not trust that I have a plan, Caspian?"

"Of course I do. It just hardly seems fair that she should be left alone in her own world while we are happy here with you," I said.

The great Lion nodded sagely.

"But I have a plan. Queen Susan will experience joy and happiness again, when she is ready for it and there are many who will be there to help her, again when she is ready for the help," He said.

I nodded in satisfaction of what he said. It still amazed me the way that Aslan knew what each of us needed to hear to be put to rights again and I found that I could no longer be upset when he spoke of the happiness that Queen Susan so rightly deserved.

Edmund POV

The instinct in me to protect my loved ones flared almost painfully as I looked on at Susan and her fate. She had denied Narnia for so many years and I knew, from past experience, that even though Aslan had forgiven her, she had a long hard road to travel in order to forgive herself. I also knew she would have moments of doubt about whether she truly had been forgiven or would be able to forgive herself. After our first trip to Narnia, we had spent many nights talking for hours in quiet whispers outside of my bedroom or hers until the day when she had denied the existence of Narnia. I had gotten so angry but it was not in me to yell or say anything because it was more disappointment in what I knew she was doing. Yes, I had seen in her eyes as she denied Narnia to Peter and Lucy and I that she was lying. I knew she had never stopped believing but she began to pull away after that first denial and I couldn't look at her without feeling that hurt and disappointment at her.

"What are you thinking of my child?" Aslan asked, coming to stand beside me where I was sitting in the throne room of Cair Paravel.

"Susan. Aslan, I want to help her but I need to understand why she did what she did," I said.

Aslan nodded His understanding but I could tell from his eyes that He would not give me an answer I wanted to hear.

"I cannot answer that for you. I can give some small comfort that Susan will be happy and will learn to smile and laugh again someday very soon," He said.

I simply nodded, not saying anything else.

"It won't be easy for her to forgive herself," I said.

"You know all too well the pain a betrayal causes, particularly when the betrayal comes from a loved one. Queen Susan will grow but she will never forget the lessons she has learned," Aslan said.

"That is just it. She never forgot to begin with," I said with a sigh of frustration.

"And I have forgiven her for her past but she must now work through that along with the grief she feels. She is already making great progress," Aslan said.

I smiled as He told me this despite the fact that it may still be years before Susan worked through everything completely. It was nice to hear that she had at least started to forgive herself.

Lucy POV

Susan was hurting. I knew it and so did everyone else and we were powerless to stop it because Aslan had promised that He was watching her and would help to make her happy again but it wasn't fair and I was frustrated with it.

"You are upset dear one," Aslan said, coming into the room.

I simply nodded. There was no reason to deny that I missed my sister and wanted to help her.

"Why?" I asked the single word so softly it came out in a whisper.

"Your sister is learning to move on. She has done much that she must reconcile herself with and she is also having to work through her grief from losing each of you. She will smile again and you will see her soon as well," He said.

"But Aslan, couldn't we just help her out by going to her and helping her with whatever it is she needs to work through?" I asked.

I felt much like I had the first time I had come back from Narnia and reverted back into being a powerless child.

"I know you are hurting for your sister as she is hurting that each of you are gone but she must do this on her own. There is nothing you can do to help her now except be happy and enjoy your life here and know that I have a plan for her that will bring all of you back together," He said with a smile.

I nodded, still feeling a little upset until I felt Aslan breathe on me. Immediately all of my fears were gone, much as they had been when we had lived in the old Narnia.

"Now dear one, forget your troubles. I will make everything right and as it should be," He said.

I laughed and threw my arms around Him, nuzzling my face in his mane as He laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I know that in the Last Battle Lucy says that she can't feel sad even if she wants to but I felt that it would be more realistic if each of the characters still was able to feel sadness or jealousy or a little bit of anger and that Aslan needed to talk them down from it and help to make them happy once more. It gives the story more feeling in my opinion and makes the characters seem a bit more real. Please review as I love every review that I do get and they help me to become a better writer and hopefully this wasn't too confusing to read. I tried my hardest to capture each characters personality in their "voice". :)


	6. Finally Making Progress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan starts to move forward from the deaths of each of her family members.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter is back to Susan's POV and takes place three months after the last chapter, so approximately six months have passed since the rest of the Pevensies passed away.
> 
> Disclaimers: Anything that is recognized is not mine. This is written from a complete love of the stories in the Chronicles of Narnia and no profit is being made and copyright infringement is not intended.
> 
> Spoilers: None as this takes place after any of the books and is just my interpretation of Susan as an adult. However, it is helpful to know what is in the stories or it may be a little confusing, particularly the Last Battle.

Susan POV

I sat up in the bed, gasping for breath and tears streaming down my face. The dream had been so clear and vivid that I would have sworn that it was actually happening. However, as I laid back down in my bed, in my dark bedroom inside my small, lonely flat, I knew that it wasn't because I was not in Narnia but rather in England. I had thought that I was gaining the upper hand on the dreams and the emotions that stemmed from them but I was still waking up nearly every night with tears running down my face. Some nights they were tears of sadness over what I had lost or tears of guilt over the things I had done before my siblings had died but every night was the same story. It had been six months since I had lost my family and it had been three since I had stumbled my way into the little stone church near the cemetery. In that three months, I had thought I was beginning to learn how to forgive myself for the things I had done and said to my friends and family about Narnia but I found that every so often I would slip back into one of the dreams of the way I had treated Lucy when she tried to bring up our adventures in Narnia or the way that I would slam my bedroom door in Edmund or Peter's face. The worst dream had been the one where I told Peter that Narnia wasn't real but rather a game we played as children. I could still remember clearly the looks on each of their faces when I had said that. Lucy had burst into tears, Peter looked as if he wanted to kill me, and Ed, well, Ed just looked disappointed and that was the worst feeling I had ever thought I could experience. However, the more I had denied Narnia, the easier it got to do just that. I laid back down and closed my eyes, praying that Aslan, or God as he was known here in England, would allow me a night of dreamless sleep.

"Susan, come on. You are making us wait for you again," Lucy called with a giggle.

"Lu, where are we going?" I asked, coming down the corridor of Cair Paravel.

She smiled and grabbed my hand as she lead me outside the castle and into the garden.

"Peter thought we should take a picnic down to the beach and all of us enjoy some time together," Edmund said with a smile, coming up beside Lucy and I as we walked through the private garden of Cair Paravel.

I woke up with a start, the sound of rain hitting the roof filtering into my brain as I once again brushed the tears off my cheeks. I sighed as I got up out of bed and began to get ready for my day. I had just finished getting showered and dressed when I heard a knock on the front door of my flat. I hurried out of the room and opened the door to see Hannah standing in the doorway with a smile on her face as she shook the water off of her umbrella before folding it back up and in on itself.

"Morning. Lovely day isn't it?" she asked in a teasing, sarcastic tone.

"I suppose, if you like this sort of weather," I said with a smile as I stepped aside to let her into my flat and then closed the door, "Would you like some tea?"

"That would be lovely. That rain and wind soaks through to the bone even with a coat and umbrella," she said with a smile.

I left her in the living room with instructions to make herself comfortable while I went into the kitchen and put the kettle on the stove to start making tea.

"So, how was your evening last night?" Hannah asked when I came back into the room and sat down next to her.

"It was pretty quiet and uneventful. I dreamt of my family again," I said.

"Susan, do you think….well, do you think that this sort of thing is normal? I mean, it's been six months since they passed away. Do you think you are holding too tightly to the memories you have left of them so that you don't forget and it's causing this to happen?" she asked.

"The dreams aren't bad though. Quite the opposite in fact. They are so wonderful and perfect that I wake up crying from the pain of missing my siblings so much because we aren't together," I said.

"You will be again though. Someday," she said, giving my hand an encouraging squeeze.

I smiled sadly and nodded as I got up off the couch and went back into the kitchen to finish making the tea. I didn't want to think about those things today but would rather just have been left alone to go and visit my family at the cemetery and then cry alone in my flat in mourning. While I had managed to find Aslan in my world, I still felt lost as to what His purpose for me was.

"Hannah, what do you think is your purpose in life?" I asked, coming back into the living room with a tray carrying both of the tea cups, the tea pot and a small dish of finger snacks.

I set the tray down on the coffee table and sat down again, pouring each of us a cup of tea and passing her one of the cups before offering her one of the snacks. She took the cup and one of the cookies off the tray before sitting back and looking me over.

"No one knows specifically what they are supposed to do with their life Susan. I have an idea of what I would like to do with it but it all depends what God wants me to do with myself. I am waiting on His timing before I do anything. I simply keep my eyes open and look for the signs. That's all any of us can really do," she said.

I sighed and took a sip of my tea as she continued to watch me.

"Is that what the dreams are about?" she asked, suddenly catching on.

"I lost my way once and I don't want it to happen again. I want to be certain that there is a reason for the things I am doing. I want to make my family proud and honor their memories at the same time but sometimes I feel like I should be doing so much more than I am," I said softly.

"Susan, you have made so much progress in just the last month or so. When I met you three months ago, you were a mess. I look at where you are now and I know that you are destined for great things but at the same time, I see a young woman who is afraid to do anything with that potential because she is so terrified of doing something wrong or making a mistake. Mistakes are how we grow and learn Susan so make them, lots of them," she said with a smile.

I couldn't help the tears that gathered in my eyes as she spoke because what she said sounded so like something Edmund would have said in this situation and I realized that it was time to let go of a tiny piece of the past and move on and try and be happy, for the sake of my brothers and sister.

"What were your siblings like?" Hannah asked suddenly.

I smiled as I closed my eyes and pictured each of my siblings in my mind and felt my heart swell in love as I began to replay memories I had of them in my head. Hannah sat there and watched me with a smile, which I noticed when I opened my eyes and blushed.

"They were amazing. My elder brother Peter was everything I could ask for in an older brother. He was stubborn and strong and brave and protective of myself and Lucy to a fault. I loved him like crazy and we were inseparable when we were very young. He used to chase away the bad dreams or the imaginary monsters in my bed when we were younger and he would get into fights with anyone who dared to try and hurt our family or spoke ill of any one of us. Edmund was fiercely protective of myself and Lucy as well. He used to help Peter fight anyone who tried to hurt us and he was the protector and mediator of the family. He worked so hard to keep peace between us and of the three of them, he was my closest confidante. Lucy was the baby of the family so she was slightly spoiled by all of us. We adored her and she was always so happy and positive. She was my best friend once she got to be old enough and she always was the one with the most faith that life had something special to offer each of us. She treated each of us as if she really valued our input, even when Peter was playing protector and I was being my logical, bossy self," I said with a smile.

"They sound wonderful and I think I am slightly jealous that you had such a wonderful, loving set of siblings," Hannah said softly.

"We were a formidable group when the four of us were together. We had a bond that was unbreakable for years and we looked after one another and protected each other," I said.

"You will see them again, I don't doubt that for a second," she said.

I smiled sadly and wiped a stray tear off my cheek as I continued to think about them all and felt the ache of how much I missed them and how much I had lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, there it is, the first chapter in the story where Susan really starts to move forward with her life. This chapter was surprisingly difficult to write because I didn't know about the dynamic between Susan and her new friend. It is always hard to try and introduce a new character into the story so I hope it didn't come out too OOC. Please review and tell me what you think as I appreciate each and every review I get and they help me to become a better writer. :)


	7. Falling in Love, Right or Wrong?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan has an admirer. However, things are complicated by promises that she made when she began to renew her faith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this story now has a timeline. I am going to show a few days worth of Susan's life in three month increments just so it doesn't get bogged down too much. That will help to show the progress she is making in her grieving as well as how she is fairing when it comes to moving on. This chapter may have a bit of romance in it but it is only hinted at. Enjoy and please review.
> 
> Disclaimers: Anything that is recognized is not mine. This is written from a complete love of the stories in the Chronicles of Narnia and no profit is being made and copyright infringement is not intended.
> 
> Spoilers: None as this takes place after any of the books and is just my interpretation of Susan as an adult. However, it is helpful to know what is in the stories or it may be a little confusing, particularly the Last Battle.

Susan POV

I was sitting in the little café, sipping my tea and just staring out the window at the people hurrying down the soaked streets of London, trying to stay dry and get through their day.

"Miss Pevensie?" I heard a male voice ask softly, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Please call me Su…" I trailed off as I turned and smiled up at the reverand, "Good afternoon."

He returned my smile and took the seat I gestured to him with a grateful smile.

"How have you been?" he asked pleasantly.

"I'm well. How are you?" I asked, glancing out the window one more time before looking up at him and focusing my attention on him.

"Busy. Susan, I was hoping to speak with you alone," he said, suddenly seeming very flustered and nervous.

"I suppose it is lucky you found me here on my own then reverand," I said, smiling and reaching across the table to place my hand on top of his to try and calm some of his nervousness.

"Please call me James," he said.

"Then if I am to call you James I insist you call me Susan," I said as he looked up at me and smiled.

"Well Susan, I did not come to find you here by accident. Hannah told me on Sunday that she had lunch here with you frequently when you weren't working," he said, and I saw a slight blush cover his cheeks.

I blushed myself, something I had not done naturally in years and was reminded of my past actions, some of the old guilt creeping into my brain.

"You said you wanted to speak with me James," I said after another moment of being lost in my thoughts.

"Yes, I wanted to ask you….if…well, I'm not very good at this but I was wondering if you would like to come to dinner with me," he said, stammering through his question.

I looked down and pulled my hand back from his, feeling the guilt almost overwhelm me as he asked this question.

"I…I'm terribly sorry but I….I don't….." I trailed off awkwardly and couldn't meet his eyes, the tears threatening to spill over and slide down my cheeks.

"Oh, forgive me Susan. I didn't mean…..I just meant a dinner between two friends," he said with an embarrassed smile.

I looked back up at his face and could tell behind his eyes that he was lying but he was so sweet about it that I couldn't help but smile as I reached back out and took his hand again.

"Of course, and thank you for the lovely offer. I would like that very much," I said.

He returned the smile and squeezed my hand before moving to get up from his seat.

"Good. I will leave you for now then," he said, pulling his hand away.

I felt a slight hurt and an even bigger sense of loss when his hand pulled out of mine and I had to force the smile onto my face as I looked up at him.

"You don't have to go. I wouldn't mind the company," I said, trying to keep myself from sounding like I was begging.

He simply smiled and shook his head.

"I will pick you up at your flat this evening at 7, if that is appropriate," he said, some of his awkward eagerness coming back into his tone at the statement.

"Actually, would it be too much trouble if I met you at the restaurant. I have a few things I need to do first," I said.

He shook his head and then we worked out a few more details before he turned and left, some of the patrons by the door grumbling as the wind blew in as he left. I turned back around in my seat and watched as he walked away down the street but my mind was somewhere else entirely.

'Oh Lu, what am I getting myself into? I wish you or the boys were here to help me. I am so confused,' I thought.

I finished my cup of tea and quickly paid the clerk before getting up and leaving the little café and hurrying down the street to my flat, needing to desperately talk to someone. I burst through the door, winded and soaked from the rain and I collapsed into the armchair, sliding my shoes off my feet as I sighed heavily. I sat there for a few moments before getting up from the armchair and picking up the phone.

"Hello?" Hannah answered on the third ring.

"Hannah, it's Susan. Would you mind coming over? I have a bit of a problem," I said quickly.

"Susan? Is everything okay?" Hannah asked, sounding upset.

"Mmhhmm, I just need someone to talk to. I have a problem that I could use some advice on," I said.

"I'll be right over," she said, and before I could respond, she disconnected the call.

I placed the receiver back in it's place and began to pace across my little living room anxiously as I waited for her to come over. Ten minutes later, the bell rang and I hurried over, throwing open the door and smiling tightly at her.

"Come in," I said, stepping aside.

"Are you sure everything is okay?" she asked, looking around the flat as if she expected to find something dreadful had happened.

"Everything is fine. Would you like some tea?" I asked.

She shook her head and I took her coat, hanging it up to dry before gesturing for her to take a seat.

"Tell me what happened," she said.

"I was at that café I like, just drinking tea and thinking when reverand James came in looking for me. Well, he sat down and we talked for a few minutes," I started to say.

"What's so bad about that?" she asked.

"He asked me on a date tonight," I said with a sigh, my head falling back against the chair as I closed my eyes.

"Okay, I'm still not seeing the problem. I mean, he is a young, single man and you are very beautiful," she said.

"But I don't want to be beautiful to anyone. That is what got me in my mess before and I promised Aslan I wouldn't let that happen again," I said more to myself as I got up and began pacing again.

"Who? Susan, what are you talking about? And who on Earth is Aslan?" she asked.

I realized that I had said that out loud and I blushed again as I stopped pacing and looked at Hannah.

"He's an old friend. A very close friend of myself and my siblings. And I can't go on a date with the reverand because that is what caused me to lose sight of what was really important before. I got caught up in all of the parties, fashion and gossip," I said.

Hannah got up and came over to where I was standing, grabbing my upper arms and shaking me lightly to snap me out of it.

"Susan, listen to me for a minute. You are beautiful and James has seen that. He has been watching you closely every time we are doing anything at the church for months. And if you go on a date with him the world is not going to end. I am positive that he will not let you get caught up in fashion, gossip and parties. Now do you have something simple but nice that you could wear out tonight?" she asked, letting go of me.

I nodded, going down the hall to my bedroom and digging through my closet. I pulled out an emerald green dress that was both modest and pretty and laid it out on my bed as Hannah came into the room.

"That is very pretty," she said, "And the green color will look lovely on you."

I smiled as I looked down at the dress. I had seen it in a shopkeepers window one day as I was walking to work and I had fallen in love with it because it reminded me of something I had owned during the Golden Age when Peter, Edmund, Lucy and I had ruled Narnia so I had hurried into the shop and bought it.

"Good, now I suggest you do your hair in a simple style and put on minimal makeup and just go out and enjoy yourself. You might find that you and James have quite a lot in common," Hannah said, turning and leaving the room.

I took one last look at the dress and then followed her out of the bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, there it is. Susan is taking her first steps into dating once again. Next chapter will most likely be the date itself. Let me know what you thought but please be nice about the way you criticize. Constructive criticism is most welcome because it helps me become a better writer and I do appreciate and personally answer each review I do get. :)


	8. Date Night With the Pastor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan has a date with the pastor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter is full of fluffy goodness so if that isn't your thing then I suggest you turn back now. You have been warned. :)
> 
> Disclaimers: Anything that is recognized is not mine. This is written from a complete love of the stories in the Chronicles of Narnia and no profit is being made and copyright infringement is not intended.
> 
> Spoilers: None as this takes place after any of the books and is just my interpretation of Susan as an adult. However, it is helpful to know what is in the stories or it may be a little confusing, particularly the Last Battle.

Susan POV

I sat in the bubble bath and tried to remember how to breathe. After Hannah had left earlier in the afternoon, I had tried distracting myself by doing housework and while that had helped keep my physically busy, it had done absolutely nothing to calm my racing nerves or my racing thoughts. I couldn't help the guilt that was washing over me as I thought about what had happened between myself and Peter after my last date. I didn't want to remember it but the memory resurfaced before I could shove it back down.

"Where have you been?" Peter asked as I tried to tip toe past the living room and up the stairs without waking anyone.

It was just before 3 in the morning and I hadn't expected anyone to be awake so when I heard Peter's voice from the darkness of the living room, I jumped about a foot in the air.

"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" I hissed when he finally showed himself, coming out of the shadows in the room.

"Answer my question," he said harshly, grabbing my wrist to try and stop me when I turned away from him and began to head for the stairs again.

"Peter Pevensie, let go of me," I said, whirling around to pull my arm out of his grasp but he simply tightened his hold and my arm and I knew from past experience that it was useless to struggle against him any further so I sighed and stepped down off the stairs and allowed him to drag me into the living room.

I sat down on the couch when he let me go and watched as he flipped on the lamp in the corner before he turned and glared at me.

"If you must know," I started before he could repeat his question, "I was out with James."

"Until 3 am?" he practically shouted.

"Shh, you'll wake mum and dad," I snapped, looking toward the stairs as I listened for any noise from the second floor.

"Perhaps I should," he said defiantly.

"Go ahead. Just remember that they will be more upset with you for waking them at this hour than they will for me having just gotten in," I said with a smirk.

Peter's eyes narrowed as he realized that I was right and so without another word, I got up and made my way out of the room. I should have known that Peter wouldn't give up that easily and I sighed as I stopped on the landing and whirled around to face him again.

"Stop. Just stop before you start. Nothing happened and I am home safe and sound so stop worrying yourself sick over me. I can take care of myself," I said before I opened the door to my bedroom and hurried inside before Peter could say anything more.

'I'm so sorry for the way I behaved,' I thought, the tears sliding down my face and mixing with the bubbles in the bathtub.

I quickly washed myself before stepping out of the bathtub and wrapping the towel around myself. I looked at my reflection in the vanity mirror and saw that my face was flushed from crying so I splashed some cool water over my face before heading into my room to get ready for dinner. I dropped the towel onto the floor and pulled the dress on, looking in the full length mirror in the corner to see how it looked. I couldn't help the smile when I saw myself in it. I closed my eyes and I could almost feel my Narnian crown on top of my head again, my bow and quiver strapped to my back as I rode into the Shuddering Woods with Edmund and Lucy, the three of us laughing as we raced one another. My eyes snapped open as I remembered that I had to finish getting ready and I hurried back into the bathroom, picking the towel up on my way through and throwing it into the hamper. Once I was back in the bathroom, I brushed through my hair and pinned it back with a few bobby pins letting it hang loose down my back and put on just a little makeup before daring to glance in the mirror.

'Well, wish me luck Lu,' I thought as I smiled at my reflection.

I flipped the bathroom light off and grabbed my coat off the back of the armchair, slipping some flats onto my feet and turning all but one lamp off before grabbing my clutch and heading out the door and into the night. I walked slowly down the street, taking in the sight of the lamps and lights in the shops, giving the city a soft glow underneath a layer of snow. I realized that it was nearly Christmas and I still had not done anything to decorate.

'Maybe you should forgo the celebration this year considering….' my thoughts trailed off as I shook the thought from my head.

"Hello there," someone called, pulling me from my thoughts and causing me to look up quickly.

I smiled when I saw that it was James coming toward me with a broad smile on his face.

"Hello," I said, suddenly feeling very shy around him.

"This is the place," he said, looking up at where I had stopped when I saw him coming.

I looked up with him and smiled as he offered his arm and opened the door at the same time. Once inside, I gasped softly as I took in the surroundings. The restaurant was a tiny, bistro style place with low lighting and soft atmospheric music playing. It was definitely the type of place one went when they were on a romantic date.

"Um, James….I thought that we were just on a friendly date?" I asked, suddenly feeling intensely uncomfortable.

"Don't worry, they serve soup and sandwiches and other 'friendly' fare if we go through to the second floor," he said with a smile, letting go of me for a moment to take my coat from me.

I smiled gratefully and shrugged out of it, feeling his eyes taking in my outfit.

"You look lovely Susan. Are you sure you don't want to stay in this part of the restaurant?" he asked softly and I thought I detected a note of regret in his voice.

I closed my eyes and took a moment to collect my thoughts. As I stood there, I could have sworn that once again, I heard Lucy's voice whispering to me.

"Be happy," the voice seemed to say.

"Susan, come on," James said, causing me to open my eyes as he took my hand and put it on his arm again, leading me through the restaurant.

"James, wait. Why don't we stay here and order something? I mean, it is a lovely atmosphere and we will probably be able to talk much easier here than we would over soup and sandwiches," I smiled up at him.

I thought he was going to burst with happiness and I couldn't help the soft giggle that erupted when he smiled widely and lead me to one of the corner booths, allowing me to slide into one side before he slid in across from me. I could hear the louder sounds of the people upstairs eating and laughing and probably dancing as the waiters and waitresses came and went.

"Good evening sir. What can I get for you and the lovely lady here this evening?" the waiter seemed to appear out of nowhere and he gave me a smile and a nod.

"I'd like some spaghetti and some champagne," James said before looking at me expectantly.

"Um, I'll just have some pasta and I suppose I will have a glass of champagne as well," I said, smiling as James reached across the table and took my hand, interlacing his fingers over my own and giving my hand a squeeze.

The waiter nodded at both of us before he hurried away and James looked over at me.

"You're uncomfortable," he stated.

"A little. It's just….." I trailed off as I looked down at our hands.

"What? Susan, you can tell me anything, you know that," he said.

"I haven't dated in a while," I said simply.

"Neither have I. I'm just as nervous as you are but lets not look at this as a date but rather just two good friends out having fun and enjoying one another's company," he said.

I hadn't thought of that and I looked up at him and smiled before the waiter came back and broke the silence, setting each of our glasses in front of us.

"So, how was your day?" he asked, after taking a sip of his champagne and setting the glass back down.

"Um, I sort of had a meltdown about this whole evening and ended up calling Hannah to help me," I said, looking down at my lap as my cheeks flamed in embarrassment.

James laughed at this, which was such a different reaction than the one I was expecting that I had to join in, giggling nervously along with him.

"Really? When I got back to my study at the church, I locked myself in there and just sat there, trying to remind myself to breathe and get the courage up to try phoning you at your flat. I almost walked over to your flat this afternoon and cancelled this evening with you," he said.

"Well, I'm very glad that you didn't," I said with another giggle.

We spent another few minutes talking quietly and trading funny stories about our day until our food arrived and we began to eat in silence. Twenty minutes later, we were walking along quietly in the snow, walking past the cemetery. I stopped for a minute just outside the entrance and James noticed this, stopping a few feet in front of me as he turned to face me.

"What's wrong Susan?" he asked, letting my hand drop from his arm.

"It's just….I haven't visited my families graves in almost a month. Could we stop for just a minute?" I asked, looking up at James and then over the small stone wall of the cemetery to the spot on top of the hillock where my siblings were all buried.

"Of course, would you like to go alone?" he asked, following my gaze before looking back at me.

I looked up at him and shook my head.

"No, I think it's high time that my siblings met the man who helped to save me from myself," I said, grabbing his hand and tugging on it as I headed into the silence of the graveyard.

I started to make my way up the hillock but it was much harder in the snowy darkness that it was during the day, especially without a torch to light the path and I slipped several times, nearly bringing James down with me when he caught me by the elbow. We finally made it, both of us breathless and giggling as we reached the top. I stopped for a minute by each of my parents graves as well as Professor Kirke's and Miss Plummer's, wiping the snow off of the headstones so they could be read easier then said a quiet hello to each of them, introducing them to James as I stared up at the night sky. I did the same with Eustace and his friend Jill and finally I stopped in front of the headstones of my three siblings, kneeling carefully in the snow as I wiped the snow away from the headstones. I stared at the three headstones, looking up into the night sky and smiling.

"Peter, I am so very sorry for the way I acted that last time we spoke. I hope you know I never meant any of what I said. In fact, I came to tell you all how much I've changed and to introduce you to someone who is a very dear friend of mine. This is James. He is a reverand at the church I've been attending for the last six months," I turned to see James smiling at me as I gestured for him to come over and stand with me, taking his hand in my own and interlacing our fingers.

"It's nice to finally get the chance to meet each of you. Susan speaks very highly of each of you. I only wish I had the chance to know you when you were still alive," James said softly, squeezing my hand slightly as he looked up at the sky and then back to each of the headstones.

We stayed there in the silence of the graveyard for another minute or so before I finally turned and started to make my way back down the hill carefully, James following behind me to catch me if I slipped again. After we were back on the sidewalk outside the cemetery, I took James hand once again, interlacing our fingers as we started to walk toward my flat again.

"I had a lovely time this evening. Thank you," he smiled as we stopped outside the building housing my flat.

"Thank you. Both for taking me out and for coming with me to the cemetery and not treating me as if I was crazy for what I did," I said softly, our breath coming out in little puffs of white smoke in the air as we stood there on the steps of the building facing one another.

"Why would I think that you were crazy?" he asked, giving me a curious, questioning look.

"Because I stand in the middle of a graveyard, staring at and talking to three headstones as if they are the people I am speaking to," I said, looking away from him in embarrassment.

"It's how you keep them close, I understand that better than you might think. Eventually, and I know you don't want to hear this but, you will let go of that too. When you have finally finished grieving you will learn to let go of things like that but I'm glad you let me come with you and shared that part of you with me tonight," he said, placing his fingertips under my chin and lifting it so I was looking up at him again.

I smiled and closed my eyes as he brushed a single strand of hair out of my face that had been blown by the wind, his thumb running over my cheek and wiping away the tears that were there that I hadn't realized had started to flow. Before either of us realized it, I leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the lips. Both of us froze when I pulled back, my eyes flying open and my hand flying to cover my mouth as he stared at me in wide eyed shock.

"I'm so sorry. I should never have….." I trailed off when I saw his smile.

"No, don't apologize. I liked it but I should go. It's getting late and you probably want to get inside and get some rest," he said.

I just nodded, not able to speak as James simply leaned forward and kissed my cheek once before he turned and hurried down the steps, leaving me standing there and watching as he walked away down the street and, I thought I could hear him whistling softly to himself. I smiled, despite the shock I felt, and turned and unlocked the door, letting myself in and hurrying up the stairs to my flat. Once I was inside, I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face as I spun around, giggling as I landed on my back in the armchair, my eyes landing on the picture of myself and my siblings that I had moved from my room to the corner table in the living room.

'Thank you,' I thought as I continued to look at the picture sitting there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so that was my fluffy chapter of Susan starting to fall in love with a nice guy. I've always had it in my mind when I read the Last Battle that the type of guys she dated weren't always the nicest so I thought for this story she needed to fall for a nice guy who could help her move on. Also, I didn't originally intend to put in the bit in the cemetery but the story just didn't work without it so there it is. Love it? Hate it? Let me know but please remember to be nice about how you say it. I appreciate each review I get and they help me become a better writer :)


	9. Nice Day for a Stroll Don't You Think

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan has to make a decision about her future that could impact her past as well. She also has a runin with a familiar face.

Susan POV

"Susan, you are over thinking this and trying to be logical again," Peter said, giving me that look he always gave me when he thought I was being difficult.

"Peter, you don't understand…." I said, trailing off as I crossed my arms in front of my chest and glared up at him.

"What is there to understand? You like this guy and he is good to you. He's helped you so much in the last six months," Peter argued with me.

"But I feel like I am losing all of you the more time I spend with him," I said, feeling my tears sliding down my cheeks.

"But you aren't. It makes all of us so happy to see that you are moving on and getting back to living your life. You can't ever really lose any of us because we are always there inside you," Peter said, wrapping his arms around me in a tight hug, the kind that I hadn't received from him since right after we fell back through the wardrobe from Narnia the first time all those years ago.

I hugged him back fiercely, not wanting to ever let go of him but knowing I had to eventually.

"Let us go and follow the path that Aslan has set before you," he whispered…..

I sat bolt upright in bed, gasping for breath as I looked around my dark bedroom. I wiped the tears off my cheeks as I tried to calm down, finally laying back down once my sobs quieted to sniffles and hiccups. It had been nine months since I had lost my family and six months since I had met James. I could still hear the echoes of the dream and Peter telling me to let go of all of them and start living the life Aslan wanted me to live.

'Easy for you to say Peter. You don't have anything to worry about any more,' I thought bitterly as I rolled over onto my side and closed my eyes again, trying to forget the dream as I drifted back toward unconsciousness.

When I opened my eyes, I had a headache and was in a bad mood and I could hear the shrill ringing of the phone in the living room. I got out of bed, grumbling to myself as I pulled on my robe and slipped my feet into my slippers before I hurried out of the bedroom to the living room.

"Hello?" I practically growled into the phone when I picked up the receiver.

"Well, someone certainly got up on the wrong side of the bed," I heard Hannah say in a teasing tone.

I took a deep breath and counted slowly to ten in my head before I responded.

"I'm sorry Hannah, I just had a bad night," I said softly.

"Another dream?" she asked.

"Mmmhhmm," I said in a non committal tone.

"I have just the thing to cheer you up," she said, "Gardening."

"Gardening?" I asked suspiciously.

"Yes, if you hadn't noticed, spring has come back around and the church flower beds and garden need some sprucing up. I thought you and I could get started on planting some new flowers to brighten it up," she said excitedly.

I considered this for a minute before answering her.

"Okay, it sounds like fun," I said.

"You're not just saying that because there is a possibility of you getting to see James again are you?" she asked.

"Hannah, if I wanted to see him, I could go over to the church with no reason really. Besides, we are going out together again tonight," I said, smiling as I thought about it.

I glanced over at the vase of flowers he had sent me at work a few days earlier as I said this and Hannah seemed to notice a hesitation on my part because she started laughing.

"Susan Pevensie, get your head out of the clouds and stop daydreaming about your beau. You are coming with me to work on the church garden and then we are going to lunch together," she said.

I could tell by her tone that I was not about to get out of whatever interrogation she had planned.

"Okay. I will meet you at the church in one hour," I said.

I didn't give her a chance to say anything else before I disconnected the call. I then let out a sigh as I went back to my bedroom to begin getting ready for my day. I showered and then quickly picked out my outfit, something comfortable yet practical for working in the dirt and that I didn't mind getting dirty before pulling my hair back into a simple braid and slipping my shoes on and leaving my flat. The day was unusually warm for the beginning of spring and as I walked down the street, I took in everything I saw as if I had never seen it before. I closed my eyes as I was walking, turning my face toward the sky and feeling the sun warm my skin. However, because I was not paying attention to where I was going, I ran into someone and was knocked to the ground. I opened my eyes and glared up at the person.

"I am so sorry Miss…" the young man said, turning around to help me up off the sidewalk.

I took the offered hand and allowed the young man to help me up off the ground, not looking at him closely. I dusted the seat of my pants off before I looked back up, coming face to face with a very familiar face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, please don't kill me for ending it here but I wanted to keep some of the suspense going. Who could it be that Susan has run into? An old friend? An enemy? You'll just have to wait til the next chapter to find out. Anyway, please review and let me know what you think as I really appreciate each and every review I get and they help to make me a better writer. :)


	10. First Comes Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After discovering that she is in fact falling for her handsome friend, Susan has to decide if she wants to pursue a romance or let him walk away for good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is just picking up right where the last chapter left off. And these last two chapters are about nine months after the events of the Last Battle. There is a bit of fluffy romantic stuff in this chapter so if that isn't your thing, you have been warned. Enjoy :)
> 
> Disclaimers: Anything that is recognized is not mine. This is written from a complete love of the stories in the Chronicles of Narnia and no profit is being made and copyright infringement is not intended.
> 
> Spoilers: None as this takes place after any of the books and is just my interpretation of Susan as an adult. However, it is helpful to know what is in the stories or it may be a little confusing, particularly the Last Battle.

Susan POV

I stared at the young man in front of me and I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face.

"Susan? Oh my goodness, are you hurt?" he asked, the concern evident in his eyes.

"I'm fine. What on earth are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at the church working on your sermon for Sunday?" I asked when I had found my voice.

James just smiled at me before he started laughing at my questions.

"I thought it might be more beneficial for me to get out and enjoy this beautiful day. Where are you off to in such a hurry?" he asked.

"I'm supposed to be meeting Hannah at the church to help her spruce up the garden and brighten up the flower beds," I said, feeling my bad mood fly out the window.

"I will let you go then but I will see you later tonight," he said with a smile.

I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before I left him standing outside the café and made my way down the street quickly, my mood brightening considerably as I continued on my way to the church. I made it there in a matter of minutes and hurried around to the back of the church, where the flower beds and garden were.

"Good morning Hannah," I said cheerfully, as I made my way toward her.

She looked up from where she was digging in the dirt, wiping the sweat and dirt off her face before she smiled and waved me over.

"Well, your mood improved fast," she said with a smile when I grabbed a spade and began to dig in the dirt.

I stuck my tongue out at her and we both started giggling. We worked in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying the day and concentrating on our tasks.

"Hannah, do you think that dreams can help us to figure out what our future is supposed to be?" I asked suddenly.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well, for example, do you think that my family could find some way to help me move on through my dreams?" I asked, stopping my digging and just looking over at Hannah.

"I don't really know. I guess it's possible. Why do you ask?" she asked.

"Because last night in my dream I saw my eldest brother and he told me to let go of my family and start living the life I've been too scared to live," I said.

"Susan, you will let go of your family when you are ready. Don't rush things. I know you want to get on with your live now that you have forgiven yourself for the things you did in the past but.." Hannah trailed off.

"I haven't fully forgiven myself. I'm not sure that I will ever be able to do that. There are so many things I did to deliberately hurt the people in my life and I am so ashamed of all of it but I feel like I am finally starting to put it behind me," I said.

"When is the last time you went to see your families graves?" Hannah asked.

I stopped for a minute when she asked this and realized, only slightly guiltily that it had been almost two months since I had last gone to the cemetery to see their graves.

"It's been almost two months," I said softly.

"And have you felt that overwhelming urge to go and see them in that time?" she asked carefully, probably seeing my reaction to her last question.

I shook my head, feeling slightly dazed as I realized where she was heading with the conversation.

"I'd say you have already let go of a big chunk of your past then. You will never totally let go of or lose your siblings but you need to continue to move forward and live your life. Have you thought about what you are meant to do with your life recently?" she asked.

"No, not since we talked about it. I've been living and going about my business, volunteering here with all the different church functions and working at the soup kitchen as well as working my job," I said softly.

"So see, you have been doing what you were meant to all this time….you were living. I would say that shows just how far you have moved on already," she said.

We both fell silent again as I processed what she had said. I had still been having the dreams about my family but somewhere along the lines, they had changed in tone. I still missed my siblings terribly but I could feel the hole in my heart starting to heal and fill again with the love I received from my friends. I couldn't even make myself feel guilty at that revelation and I realized that the dream from the night before had been a way for me to realize that I was learning to be happy and let go, that I was learning to live again. I also realized that the dream was my siblings accepting the people I had let into my life and learned to love.

'Wait, is it possible that I love Hannah and James as much as I love my siblings?' I thought.

Later that night, I stood in front of the full length mirror in my room, staring at my reflection. I sighed as I surveyed my appearance. I was getting ready for my date with James and I was nervously making sure I looked okay.

'Why am I so nervous?' I thought as I turned away from my reflection with a frown before I unzipped and pulled off the dress I had on, leaving it laying in a heap on the floor as I went back over to the closet and began to pull all of my dresses out.

That was when it hit me. It wasn't that I loved James like I loved my siblings, or even like I loved Hannah. I loved James as a man. He was the sort of man I could see myself settling down with and having my family approve of. He was a good man, kind, generous, patient and honorable. The sort of man a woman would be lucky to build a life and family with. For all of these reasons, but mostly because I was so overwhelmed by the revelation, I burst into tears which turned into hysterical, hiccup filled sobs. I heard a knock on the door in the living room and I tried to pull myself together, grabbing a dress out of the closet that hadn't managed to make it to the floor. I pulled the dress on as the knocking became more persistent and I zipped it up before I hurried out into the living room and threw open the door to see James standing there in the hall with a smile. However, when he saw the tearstains on my cheeks and the tears in my eyes, his smile faded into a frown and before I could say anything, he pulled me toward him in a hug.

"Susan, what on earth is the matter? Are you hurt?" he asked, pulling away from me and wiping the tears off my face that were continuing to slide down my cheeks.

I tried to smile but I failed miserably as a second wave of tears came on and I just let out a sob, throwing myself into his arms, wrapping my arms around his waist in a hug as I buried my face in his shirt, soaking it with my tears and shocking him with my outburst.

"Shh, you're okay….Susan, please talk to me? Tell me what's wrong. Are you hurt?" James asked again, stroking my hair and maneuvering our bodies so that we were inside my living room.

James pulled away from me long enough to close the door and then he guided me over to the couch, sitting down beside me as I refused to loosen the grip I had on his shirt.

"I….I'm sorry….I, I didn't mean to…" I trailed off, once I had calmed down slightly and was just sniffling.

"Were you thinking of your family? What brought on your tears?" he asked, placing his fingertips under my chin and lifting my face so I was looking into his eyes.

James smiled and wiped the tears off my face again, and all I could see reflected in his eyes was love. I shook my head to his question and before I could stop myself or think about what I was saying I said the last thing he expected.

"I love you," I blurted out through my tears and sniffles.

James didn't say anything for a full minute and I felt my face flush in embarrassment and humiliation.

"I'm sorry. I never should have said…" I started to say.

"No, don't you dare apologize. I love you too. Do you have any idea how long I've waited and wished to hear you say those words?" he asked with a huge smile on his face.

Before I could respond to his question, James leaned closer and pressed his lips against mine lightly. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me and within seconds, the kiss had deepened. When James pulled away so we could both breathe, I couldn't help the small giggle that escaped as the both of us blushed.

"Okay, I promised you dinner so we should probably get going. I made a reservation at that restaurant we went to for our first date, for 8 pm," he said softly, his thumb brushing across my cheek lightly as he smiled.

My eyes closed at his touch and I leaned into it, a smile spreading across my lips as I felt his lips on my forehead. He brushed a kiss across my forehead before he let go of me and stood up. I opened my eyes and he smiled down at me as he offered me his hand. I took it and allowed him to help me up off the couch.

"Give me just two minutes to finish getting ready," I said with a smile as I quickly went back into my bedroom to finish getting ready.

I came back out exactly two minutes later, my hair pulled back off my face but hanging loose down my back and just a little makeup on my face. James smiled wider when he same me and I couldn't help but return the smile. We left the flat and walked the short distance to the bistro in silence, our fingers interlaced as we walked. We sat in the same booth we had the last time we had been at the restaurant, ordering before we said another word to one another.

"How long?" I asked, finally letting my curiosity get the better of me.

"How long what?" James asked.

I gave him a pointed look and raised an eyebrow.

"You know how long what," I said sarcastically.

James grinned and picked my hand up off the table and brought it to his lips, brushing his lips across my knuckles which earned a giggle from me.

"I think it started the day I saw you sitting in that pew looking so upset," he said, "but I didn't really consciously realize it and admit it to myself until about two months ago."

Our meals arrived then and so we didn't talk anymore about it, instead eating in silence. Once we finished eating and paid the bill, we left the bistro and walked in the direction of the graveyard.

"Did you want to stop tonight?" James asked, stopping at the entrance.

I looked up at the hillock where my siblings were buried and smiled before turning to look at James and shaking my head before taking his hand in mine and interlacing our fingers.

"Not tonight. I just want you to walk me home. I can always come back tomorrow after work," I said, wrapping my free hand around his neck and pulling him down to kiss his lips lightly.

When I pulled away, James smiled and we started walking again. Just a few minutes later, we were standing on the front steps of the building that housed my flat.

"Thank you for such a wonderful evening," I said, smiling.

"Anytime. Have lunch with me tomorrow?" he asked.

I nodded before James wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me deeply and soundly. I wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him closer but after a minute, he pulled away, both of us breathless.

"I love you," he whispered with a smile.

"I love you too," I whispered and I realized just how right that sounded.

"Until tomorrow," he said, brushing his lips across my forehead one more time before releasing me and heading down the steps.

I watched as he walked down the street, turning around once to wave to me before he disappeared out of sight. I quickly opened the door to the apartment building and hurried inside and upstairs to my flat, collapsing in a heap on the couch once I got inside the flat. I closed my eyes and sighed happily as I thought about the way the evening had turned out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter was much longer than I originally intended but I just couldn't end it. I had tons of fun writing this chapter and I wanted a bit more fluffiness in this story so I figured that I would have Susan finally realize her feelings for the young man who has helped her through the worst time in her life. Review and let me know what you think. I appreciate each and every review and they help me to become a better writer :)


	11. Apologies and Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan finally apologizes for her behavior and treatment of her family before their deaths.

Susan POV

I sat there on the couch, reading my bible and listening to the radio. It had been a busy day and I still felt emotionally drained from the events of the day.

~Earlier that day~

I stood outside the graveyard, hesitating before I stepped into the cemetery and made my way up the green grass hillock to the headstones of my siblings. I stopped at each of my parents and friends headstones for a moment, just to pay my respects and leave a flower on each headstone, running my fingers over the cool stone which was engraved with each of their names and smiling sadly. After I did this, I made my way up to the top of the hillock, stopping in front of my siblings graves. I left each of them a flower, similar to the others and then kneeled in the grass and dirt like I had done so many times before.

"Peter, I'm sorry for what I thought about you yesterday morning. I didn't mean it but I was just so upset over the thought of losing each of you. I'm not sure I'm ready to let go of you and move on completely. It scares me because I'm all on my own now and I realize that you aren't going to be here again ever," I started to say, looking at the headstone with Peter's name on it.

I then looked at Edmund's headstone and smiled sadly.

"I'm so sorry for forgetting about Narnia Ed. I never should have betrayed Narnia or you. I always prided myself on being better than that, on being the gentle queen of Narnia but those last few years after Peter and I left Narnia for good were really hard for me. It was easier just to bury the pain and hurt by lying to you and myself about Narnia ever even existing. But I think you always knew, even after we stopped speaking to one another," I said softly.

"Lucy, what is there to say? I loved each of you so much but you and I always had a special connection, especially when we ruled Narnia together. I'm so sorry for having disappointed you and doubting you. And I'm especially sorry for the things I said to you when we had that awful fight. I never meant to intentionally hurt any of you, least of all you but the words came out of my mouth before I could stop them and you have no idea how badly I want to take them back every day," I said, feeling the tears finally slide down my cheeks.

I didn't bother to wipe them away, instead just letting the breeze dry them as they slid down my face, which was flushed from the breeze blowing over my face. I tried to collect myself and straightened my shoulders but it didn't do any good and so I finally let out a strangled cry of grief and just began to sob. I was so caught up in my grief and tears that I didn't hear anyone come up behind me and I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder. My eyes flew open in shock and I stood up, quickly whirling around to see the last person I expected to see standing there. I stood there, my eyes wide in shock as I stared at James, who was frowning at me as he stared into my red, puffy eyes.

"Susan, I didn't expect to see you here," he said, forcing a smile onto his face as I backed away from him and right into the tree that sat behind the three headstones.

I continued to stand there, staring at him in wide eyed shock for another full minute before I managed to wipe the tearstains off my face and really look at him. I saw the smile soften and his eyes shone with love and concern.

"I'm sorry I interrupted your privacy. I'll just go," he said, turning to leave.

Before I could stop myself, I hurried forward and grabbed his sleeve to stop him from going anywhere. He looked over at me when I did.

"Please don't go. Some company would be very nice right now," I said, looking down at my feet as I said it and feeling my face flush in embarrassment that he had caught me crying again.

James simply nodded and I let go of his sleeve, allowing him to take my hand instead and interlace our fingers together. I looked back at each of the headstones and felt a few more tears slide down my face.

"Why don't we go back to my study and have a cup of tea and talk things over?" James said after another minute of us just standing there.

"How much did you hear?" I asked, not turning around to look at him.

"I heard you saying something about an argument with your sister," he said.

I nodded and turned to look at him.

"Perhaps you're right. I can explain what happened the day my siblings died," I said softly.

I gave one last look at the headstones before wiping what were left of the tears off my cheeks and allowing James to lead me out of the cemetery and down the street to the little stone church.

~Ten Minutes Later~

"Here you go," James said with a smile, handing me a cup of tea.

I took the cup with a smile and took a small sip of the tea, sighing deeply as I felt the warmth of the tea help to calm my nerves and frazzled emotions. James made a second cup of tea for himself and then sat down beside me on the small settee in the corner of the small office.

"Now what happened between you and your sister?" he asked gently.

I set the teacup down on the saucer, which I set on the small table behind me, taking another deep breath to calm myself before I began speaking.

"On…..on the day my siblings died, I got into a horrible argument with them. My sister Lucy, she's…..she's always had the most faith about everything. She always believed that we each had a fantastic destiny. Well, when we were younger Lucy and I used to be queens of a magical place. However, when we grew up, I lost my faith in everything," I said softly, looking down at my hands in my lap.

James reached over and grabbed one of my hands, squeezing it lightly and causing me to smile at the comfort of the gesture.

"Lucy, Peter and Edmund all three tried to convince me to come with them on the train trip to meet with the others, mostly to discuss old times and reminisce about each of our lives in that magical land we had ruled as children. I told them that they were all being foolish and behaving like children continuing on in their fantasies of a game we played as children. Peter just shook his head at me and walked away but Lucy and Edmund continued to try and convince me to come with them. Edmund finally asked me point blank if I remembered anything about our time in that place as children and I knew that Lucy was paying attention to and hanging on my answer to his question. Rather than answering truthfully, I thought it would be better to end them asking me at all by hurting them deeply, especially Lucy so I told him that I didn't believe any of it and that he and Lucy were both acting like selfish children who didn't know how to and would not grow up. When I looked at Edmund, I saw him shaking his head sadly and Lucy burst into tears before running down the stairs to find Peter and I turned and slammed the door shut in Edmund's face. They all three got on that train later that afternoon and…..and I never saw any of them again," I said, the tears returning and sliding down my face.

I went to wipe them away from my face but James placed his fingers under my chin and lifted my face so I was looking at him before he ran his thumb over my cheek, wiping away the tears sliding down my face. After he wiped the tears away, he leaned closer and kissed me lightly on the lips before he let me go and smiled at me.

"It seems to me that you have found some forgiveness from them in the last few months," he said softly.

"How can you say that?" I asked angrily.

"You don't believe it?" he asked me evenly.

I shook my head at him and looked down at my hands again.

"I can't believe that until I see them again. My dreams tell me that they are happy where they are now but I don't believe it because they aren't here for me to make amends," I said softly.

"Susan, you've made amends simply by making the changes in yourself that you have. You told me when we first met that you were interested only in cosmetics, stockings, dresses and parties with fashionable people however, I haven't seen that in you at all. What I have seen is a loving, kind, caring young woman who puts others before herself and works her hardest to live the life her family wanted her to live. You have told both myself and Hannah on several occasions that the dreams you have are of your siblings telling you to be happy and it seems to me that because they are your family they would want that for you whether they were still here or not. They loved you regardless of how you treated one another because they were your family. Families fight, that is just to be expected, especially siblings but it doesn't mean that you or they loved one another any less," James said.

I felt the tears sliding down my face again and I nodded before he pulled me into his arms for a hug as I began to sob freely once again. We sat there like that, me sobbing into his shirt and him rocking me back and forth as he stroked my hair until the sobs finally quieted to occasional sniffles.

"I should go," I said softly, pulling away from him.

"Will you be alright?" he asked.

I nodded as I stood up from the settee, brushing my hair away from my face and straightening my clothes as I did.

"I'll be fine. I just need to go back to my flat and think about everything," I said softly.

James stood up and nodded, smiling at me slightly. I could see the hurt and disappointment in his eyes at us not going out that evening together but I knew I was doing the right thing by going back to my flat and just being alone. I still needed to have a proper cry and I could only do that alone, in the privacy of my flat where I could completely let my guard down.

"I'll call you tomorrow then," he said.

I smiled and nodded before leaning closer and kissing him lightly on the cheek.

"Thank you James, for being so understanding," I said.

He just nodded and blushed slightly at the compliment before I turned and let myself out of the office, closing the door behind myself as I left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I was rewatching LWW while I was typing this and so it got to be much longer than I intended originally. The creativity just sort of hit me and the words flowed out onto the paper so I had no real control over it. Anyway, let me know what you think and enjoy it. I may get another chapter posted tonight as I am feeling ultra inspired right now. :)


	12. The Proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan receives a long awaited proposal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so here's another chapter in the same night. I am just feeling so inspired right now because I am rewatching each of the Narnia films as I type and it just makes the words flow so much more than they would otherwise. Anyway, enjoy and don't forget to review and let me know what you think. This will probably be one of the last few chapters as well as the story has pretty much come full circle and this chapter takes place a year after the death of everyone Susan loves.
> 
> Disclaimers: Anything that is recognized is not mine. This is written from a complete love of the stories in the Chronicles of Narnia and no profit is being made and copyright infringement is not intended.
> 
> Spoilers: None as this takes place after any of the books and is just my interpretation of Susan as an adult. However, it is helpful to know what is in the stories or it may be a little confusing, particularly the Last Battle.

Susan POV

"Come on Su…..you're being slow again. I think Ed was right. You do need a head start," Lucy said with a teasing laugh as she came back over and grabbed my hand.

"Oh really?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at her as I smiled at her.

I allowed her to drag me behind her as she started running again, toward Cair Paravel but I stopped suddenly when we got to the apple orchard and I saw the trees all blooming, the little white flowers looking beautiful in the sunlight.

"Susan, why did you stop again?" Lucy asked me, dropping my hand and turning to look at me.

"Lucy, look at the trees. I haven't seen them bloom like this since we ruled in Narnia," I said, making my way through the orchard and smiling to myself at all the memories of the times we spent playing in the orchard when we should have been working on our tutoring lessons or practicing with our weapons.

Lucy smiled too and I knew that she was remembering all those times as well but the silence was broken by the sound of three male voices.

"Here's where you two got to," I heard Peter say.

I turned to face him and saw he was smiling.

"Susan got sidetracked," Lucy said with another giggle.

"As usual," I heard Edmund add with a chuckle.

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face at seeing all of my siblings once again, and seeing them smiling and laughing as they teased me and one another and words from a conversation a few months earlier with James came back to my mind:

"They loved you regardless of how you treated one another because they were your family."

I knew he was right but that was when it struck me how wrong it felt for me to be here with them, enjoying this happy moment. I felt like an outsider who was looking through a window or up at a movie screen, watching a scene play out in front of me rather than truly being involved in it.

"Something's wrong," I said softly, more to myself than the others.

"What was that Su?" Peter asked, coming over closer to where I was still standing.

"I don't belong here Peter. I mean….not yet at least," I said, turning to look at him.

I felt the tears spring to my eyes at that revelation but somehow I knew deep inside that it would come to me eventually. It seemed that I was finally ready to move on and let go of what was left of my grief.

"Queen Susan," I heard Aslan's voice behind myself and Peter and I turned, kneeling before him.

"Aslan….I….I don't belong here. At least…I don't think I do," I said softly, looking up at him.

"You are right my child. It is not your time yet to come to my land and be with your siblings and friends. You must live your life first and follow the path I have laid out before you. You have had the chance to see that your siblings and friends are happy here with me and they have helped you as much as they can. Now you must live in your world, relying on the friends and loved ones you have there and relying especially on me," He said.

I felt the tears spring to my eyes again and I began to sob when he said this, although it was neither sobs of complete sadness nor complete joy but a mix of the two.

"Do not cry dear one," He said, "for you will come back someday and be reunited with each of us again."

"There's still so many things I need to apologize for though," I said, through my tears.

"All has been forgiven already," Aslan said, breathing on me and making my tears dry and making me forget all of my guilt and worries.

"Susan, just be happy already and stop worrying about all of us. We're with Aslan now so we don't have anything to worry about anymore. Let us live in your memory and then one day we will be together again," Lucy finally spoke up, coming over and giving me a hug.

Peter and Edmund both joined her soon enough and we were wrapped in a group hug, giggling and teasing as if we hadn't a care in the world and I knew that Aslan had something to do with that as well. I smiled and allowed myself to relax into the hug, knowing that my siblings and I would meet again someday.

My eyes flew open and I felt the tears sliding down my cheeks. It has been one year since the day my family died in a train accident and once again, my night was full of tears and dreams of my family. Tonight however, the dream had been different. I knew for certain that my siblings and Aslan had forgiven me for all the things I had said to them when I didn't believe in Narnia. I could finally move on with my life and let go of what was left of my guilt. I threw the covers off my body and climbed out of the bed, heading into the kitchen and glancing at the grandfather clock in the hall as I passed. The clock said it was 3:28 in the morning and I knew just the thing to help me get back to sleep.

~Five Minutes Later~

I stood in front of the stove, waiting for the kettle to boil as I began to make myself a cup of tea. Once the kettle came to a boil, I poured some of the hot water into the teacup, shutting the stove off before taking the cup of tea back to bed with me. I set it on the nightstand and flipped on the bedside lamp before climbing back into bed and getting comfortable. I began to sip the tea and opened the book sitting on my night table, reading and trying to relax. When I opened my eyes again, the sunlight was coming into the room through the sheer curtains over the window. I sat up quickly and heard the grandfather clock in the hall chiming out the time. I climbed out of bed and quickly flipped off the light that I had left on before I went into the bathroom to shower and get ready for work.

"Afternoon Susan," the young girl behind the counter at the café said when I walked in.

I smiled as I made my way over to the table I usually sat at, facing the window so that I could watch the people who walked by outside the restaurant.

"Susan," I heard someone say behind me and I turned to see Hannah coming toward the table.

I smiled as she sat down across from me and a waitress appeared with a menu for her to order from before disappearing again. Hannah looked over the menu for a minute before she closed it and focused her attention on me with a big smile.

"So…" she asked.

"So?" I asked in confusion.

"Has James asked you yet?" she asked.

"Asked me what?" I asked, still feeling confused at why she was smiling.

"To marry him silly," she said with a sigh as her smile turned down into a frown.

I started to laugh at her before I noticed the frown and realized she was serious. I stopped laughing and felt my eyes widen when I realized just how serious she was about that.

"Hannah, we aren't even close to that stage yet. We've only known one another nine months and have only been dating for about seven of those nine months," I said softly.

"So what? He's head over heels in love with you. Anyone who has seen the two of you together can see it. And I was positive that you felt the same," she said.

"I do. I love him completely but that doesn't mean that we are ready to jump right into getting married," I said.

"You're still too scared that if he asks you won't be able to let go of your past and say yes?" she asked gently, the smile returning.

"No. I will have you know that I have let go of the past finally so if he were to ask, which I don't think he will anytime soon, I would be more than happy to say yes to him. James is exactly the sort of man I would be happy to marry and start a family of my own with," I said.

"But something is still bothering you," she said.

"I always hoped that my family would be here to see my get married," I said sadly.

"They will be, in spirit," Hannah said to me.

I smiled despite the pang of sadness I felt because I knew she was right.

"Are you two going out tonight?" Hannah asked, to change the subject.

"Yeah. He said something about wanting to go to that Italian restaurant that just opened," I said happily with a dreamy smile.

"What are you going to wear?" she asked.

And with that we passed the rest of my lunch hour and hers talking about dresses and accessories, giggling and chatting happily as we ate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this story is quickly coming to an end. I have already got the end written and have it about halfway typed up but there are still about two chapters between this and the very end. Anywho, enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think of it in a review as I appreciate each and every one I do get and they help to make me a better writer.


	13. Then Comes Marriage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner and a Proposal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter is another one full of fluffy goodness so you know the drill. If that isn't your thing turn back now but if it is your thing, enjoy :) Also, this is one of the last chapters of this story. I have had so much fun writing this and hopefully, everyone who has read and reviewed, or will do so in the future enjoyed or will enjoy this story as well. Also, this chapter is going to be split POV because I thought it might be fun to get inside James head as well for this chapter.
> 
> Disclaimers: Anything that is recognized is not mine. This is written from a complete love of the stories in the Chronicles of Narnia and no profit is being made and copyright infringement is not intended.
> 
> Spoilers: None as this takes place after any of the books and is just my interpretation of Susan as an adult. However, it is helpful to know what is in the stories or it may be a little confusing, particularly the Last Battle.

Susan POV

I sat in the bathtub and tried my hardest to relax as I soaked in the bubble bath and got ready for my date. I couldn't shake the nerves I could feel or the butterflies in my stomach as I continued to think about what Hannah had said at lunch.

'Does James really mean to propose to me?' I thought with a sigh.

Ten minutes later, I still didn't have the answer to that question so I quickly stepped out of the bathtub and wrapped a towel around myself and going into my bedroom to get ready for this date. I dropped the towel onto the floor after drying myself off and pulled on my undergarments before I turned to find a dress to wear. I began to go through each of the dresses but none of them stood out as special enough for a dinner date in which a proposal may come.

"How about the green one again?" I heard a voice whisper.

I whirled around to look around the room but I was alone in front of my closet. I recognized that voice though as Lucy's and I thought I might be going crazy so I simply shook my head and grabbed the hanger with the green dress that reminded my of the ones I had in Narnia, looking it over. I shrugged as I laid it out across the bed and began to dig for the flats that I had worn with it the last time I had worn it. I found one of the shoes in the very back of the closet but the other one was still missing so I came out of the closet and began to hunt for the mate to the shoe I was currently holding in my hand. I finally found it about five minutes later under my bed and I couldn't help smiling as I tried to remember what had caused it to end up under the bed. I didn't dwell on any of that though, instead quickly pulling the dress and then the shoes on and fixing my hair and makeup very simply before grabbing the clutch purse off the top of the vanity table.

"Well, wish me luck Lu," I whispered to myself with a smile as I surveyed myself in the full length mirror.

I turned and left the room, hearing the grandfather clock chime the hour and the knock on the door as I came out into the living room. I hurried over and threw open the door, smiling when I saw James standing there, dressed very sharply in a black suit with a pair of polished leather dress shoes.

"Hi," I said shyly, returning his smile.

"Hi. You look beautiful," he said, looking me over before stepping into the doorway and wrapping me in a hug.

"Thank you. So do you," I said softly, kissing his cheek quickly when he let go of me and leaving us standing there in an awkward silence.

"Ready to go?" James asked after another minute of silence.

I nodded and grabbed my house key, sliding it into my clutch purse after I locked the door behind us, taking James hand and following him down the stairs and out of the building into the cool night air of London. Our walk to the restaurant was relatively silent, neither of us saying much but smiling when one or the other of us caught the other person's eye. Finally, I couldn't stand the silence any longer.

"How was your day?" I asked.

James looked over at me and smiled, although I couldn't tell if it was a grateful smile or one of relief that I had been the one to break the silence first.

"It was busy. I visited some of the sick and then I had to see to the repairs of the roof as well as speaking to the solicitor about the damages to the rectory because of the rain," he said.

"Oh," I said slowly, looking straight ahead again and the both of us lapsing back into silence.

"How was your day?" he asked gently after a minute.

"Good. I worked for most of it but I had lunch with Hannah this afternoon," I said.

"Oh?" he asked, suddenly curious as he looked over at me again.

"Mmmhhmm," I said in a non-committal tone, not sure if I should tell him what she had said to me.

Before I could say anything more about though, James stopped walking and I nearly fell over since I was holding his hand and didn't expect quite such an abrupt stop.

"Here we are," he said with a smile.

I looked up to see that we had arrived at the restaurant. James let go of my hand and went to open the door, holding it for me as I smiled and walked past him into the building, him following closely behind me and taking my hand in his again as we made our way up to the reception desk.

"Reservation for James Turner," he said with a smile at the girl behind the reception desk.

She returned his smile and grabbed two menus.

"Right this way sir," she said, coming out from behind the desk and leading us through the restaurant to a small booth in the corner of the restaurant.

I slid into one side of the booth and James slid into the other before the young woman set the menus in front of each of us.

"Let me know if you need anything else," she said with a smile.

"Thank you," we both said softly as she walked away.

Once she had walked away, I looked at the setting of the table. It was covered by a blood red table cloth with a single small vase in the center which held a single red rose. There were two candles on either side of the vase, casting a soft, golden glow over the table. I picked up the menu and began to scan over it for what they had to eat.

James POV

I sat there in the awkward silence between us, not saying anything partly because I didn't know what and partly because I was too nervous to say anything. I reached into the pocket of my slacks and fingered the small box there, just waiting for the appropriate moment to ask her a very important question.

"Susan, love….um, I'm going to go to the restroom. Excuse me for a minute," I said after another minute of awkward silence.

Susan looked up at me from the menu and smiled.

"Okay," she said as I got up from the booth and headed toward the bathroom.

Once I was in the bathroom, I pulled the small box out of my pocket and opened it up. The diamond ring inside the box sparkled in the lights over the sink and I caught the reflection in the mirror when I looked up. I looked into the mirror at my reflection, holding the ring out in front of me.

"Susan, will you marry me?" I asked my reflection.

I shook my head and sighed at my foolishness at talking to myself before I heard the door to the bathroom open. I looked up from the box where I had set it on the counter at my reflection one last time before closing the box, straightening my shoulders and leaving the bathroom, making my way back over to the booth confidently. Susan looked up when I came walking back over, her eyes widening when she saw me coming toward her in such a determined manner.

"I….I ordered something to drink for you when the waitress came back by," she said with a nervous smile.

"Thank you," I said with a smile.

I still hadn't sat down and was beginning to feel awkward as Susan continued to look up at me standing in front of her and I knew it was now or never that I ask her. I got down on one knee in front of her, noticing that several other restaurant patrons were watching us curiously and hearing Susan gasp softly when I did this. I opened the box in my hand and looked up at Susan with a smile, seeing the tears that were shining in her eyes at what was going on.

"Susan Pevensie, I am in love with you. I have been for the last nine months. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife? Will you marry me?" I asked.

She didn't say anything for a full minute and I felt my face grow hot in embarrassment and I began to start standing up from where I was kneeling in front of her but Susan's hand on my shoulder stopped me from moving.

"Yes, yes, yes….a thousand times yes. I would be so honored to be your wife," she said with a happy giggle as she grabbed the lapels of my jacket and pulled me closer, kissing me on the lips.

I wrapped my arms around her waist as we continued to kiss and I could hear the other patrons who were nearby clapping. I pulled away from the kiss and slid the ring onto Susan's finger and watched as she stared at it, the candlelight causing it to sparkle. I stood back up and slid back into the booth across from Susan, the waitress coming over with a huge smile.

"Are you ready to order now?" she asked.

"I believe so. I'll have the veal parmigiana and angel hair pasta," Susan said, her eyes still on the ring on her hand.

I smiled as I watched her as she closed her menu and handed it to the waitress.

"And for you sir?" the waitress asked, looking at me.

"I'll have the spaghetti with the grilled chicken salad," I said, closing the menu and handing it back to her as she wrote down what I would have before taking the menu from me and walking away again.

"James, this ring is beautiful," Susan said, continuing to look at her hand.

"I'm glad you like it," I said, smiling at her, picking up her other hand off the table and bringing it to my lips, brushing my lips across her knuckles and causing her to smile.

Susan and I sat there that way for a minute until the waitress came back with our food. Neither of us really said much else as we started in on our food. After we finished, I paid the bill for us and then we left. I interlaced my fingers with Susan's as we began to walk down the street toward her flat.

"Susan, are you really happy that I asked you to marry me?" I asked her, stopping walking and looking over at her.

"Of course I am. This might sound funny but Hannah and I were actually talking about whether or not you had asked me to marry you earlier this afternoon," she said.

I couldn't help when I started laughing as she blushed and then began laughing along with me. We walked past the cemetery and I stopped just outside the gate to the graveyard. Susan looked at me as I stopped walking.

"Did you want to go in and visit your family?" I asked her softly.

Susan looked into the graveyard and just shook her head.

"It's okay. I can come tomorrow," she said, pulling on my hand as she started walking again.

I nodded and that's when it hit me that something had changed about Susan in the last few months, since I had seen her in the graveyard. However, I liked this new Susan so I didn't say anything and instead simply began walking with her again toward her flat. It didn't take us but a few minutes to get to her flat and when we got there, she turned to me with a smile.

"I had a wonderful time this evening," Susan said with a smile.

"So did I, mind if I call you in the morning?" I asked.

"Of course not," she said.

"Until tomorrow then," I said with a smile.

Susan leaned closer and I wrapped my arms around her, holding her closer as she kissed me. I pulled away from her after another minute as she turned to go inside. I turned and made my way back down the steps and turned around once to look at her, smiling when she blew me a kiss before she turned and headed into the building as I turned and walked back down the street toward my humble abode.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, originally I wasn't going to have the two of them being so awkward about the whole marriage thing but I think it gave the chapter a bit of charm, although that is just my opinion. Also, this chapter is much, much longer than I originally intended but I figure it's okay since this is one of the last chapters. Let me know what you think though as I appreciate each and every review I do get. Also, there is only one more chapter before the end of the story.


	14. Then Comes A Baby In the Baby Carriage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan and James Get Married

Susan POV

My eyes snapped open when I heard the grandfather clock in the hall chime. I saw the sunlight shining into the room through the curtains and I couldn't help it as the smile spread across my face.

'I'm getting married today,' I thought excitedly to myself.

I felt the butterflies in my stomach start as I looked down at the ring on my hand, the diamond sparkling in the sunlight and reflecting it off the ceiling. I heard a knock at the door and so I got up out of the bed quickly, pulling on my bathrobe before I made my way into the living room. I threw open the door to see Hannah standing there in the hall of my building.

"You aren't ready yet?" she asked me, coming into my flat and closing the door behind herself.

"I only just woke up," I said with a sarcastic smile.

"You're getting married today. How are you feeling?" she asked, smiling as she followed me into the kitchen where I put the kettle on to make us some tea.

"I feel fine. What's there to feel except total happiness?" I asked.

"I just thought you might be feeling a little sad about your family," she said carefully.

"I was trying not to think about it. I was trying to keep the sadness and nerves at bay by thinking about how happy I am. I'm getting married today," I said with a smile.

I turned the kettle off when it whistled, pouring the water into the two teacups for us and handing one to Hannah.

"You should get in the shower and get ready for the wedding," Hannah said by way of thanks.

I giggled and she followed me back out to the living room. We sat down on the couch and began to sip our tea.

"I have to go to the cemetery before I do anything else today," I said, growing serious.

I got up, leaving my teacup sitting on the coffee table and going into my room to throw on a pair of Capri pants and a shirt.

"Susan, what on earth is going on?" Hannah asked when I came back out of the bedroom.

"I have to go to the cemetery and see my siblings graves. I forgot to tell them that I was getting married when it first happened," I said, grabbing my house key and throwing open the door to my flat.

"Susan, wait. You don't have time to just go to the cemetery. You are getting married at noon and it is now 10:15 in the morning. You still need to get showered and dressed and then I have to do your hair," Hannah said.

"But I have….."I started to say.

"Susan, what you have to do is get ready to marry the man you love. We talked about this a few months back. Your family will be with you today in spirit. Now go shower and get into your dress then I will help you do your hair and makeup," Hannah said, coming over to where I was standing and grabbing my arms to turn me around so I was looking at her.

I nodded at Hannah before she shut the door to my flat and then pushed me toward the bathroom. Twenty minutes later, I was sitting on a chair in front of the full length mirror in my room, Hannah standing behind me, pinning up my hair which she had just finished curling before she pinned my veil into my hair. Once she had finished with my hair, she came over, kneeling in front of me and beginning to work on my makeup. I felt tears stinging the corners of my eyes as I began to think about how much I wanted my mother and Lucy here helping me do this.

"Susan, are you okay?" Hannah asked, stopping applying my mascara and looking at me in concern.

"I'm fine. I'm just thinking about how much I wish my mother and Lucy were here with me today," I said softly.

"They are though. They are always with you, especially on a day like today. I mean, look outside. The sun is shining and you have a young man waiting for you to make him your husband. Plus, you look beautiful. Now, come on, we need to get going to make it to the church on time," Hannah said, giving me a careful hug and finishing up my makeup before she helped me up out of the chair.

I stood in the small room just down the hall from the auditorium of the church, staring up at the stained glass window near the ceiling. I started pacing the length of the room as my nerves came to the surface and mixed with the butterflies that had been fluttering in my stomach all day long. My thoughts turned to Peter, Edmund and Lucy and I found myself wishing desperately that they and my parents were here to witness my marriage. There was a knock on the door and a second later, Hannah came into the room. She stopped when she saw me pacing the room with tears shining in my eyes again.

"Oh Su…." she said, coming over and giving me a hug.

"I'm sorry. I just can't believe this is really happening without my family actually being here," I said softly.

"Susan, I want you to dry your tears right now and pull yourself together. You are going out there and marrying James. He loves you and you love him and both of you deserve to be happy and have a life together. Now come on," Hannah said.

I knew she was right. It was silly and childish of me to continue to cry over something that I couldn't change, especially when I should be so happy on a day like today. I straightened my shoulders, wiped the tears carefully out of my eyes with a handkerchief and smiled a shaky smile at Hannah as I heard the music start signaling my cue to get out into the hallway and get ready to walk up the aisle.

"Remember, you can do this. James is waiting for you and you both love one another," she whispered to me before she left the room to go out into the hall and get ready to go up the aisle before me.

I nodded and watched as she left the room, taking a deep breath to calm myself down before I left the room. I stood just outside the doors of the auditorium, feeling everyone's eyes on me as I heard the music morph into the wedding march and I began to walk down the aisle. I looked up, scanning the church until my eyes fell on James standing up front, watching me come down the aisle and beaming with pride. Once my eyes locked on his, I couldn't see anything else and I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. I finally made it to the front of the church and took James extended hand when I got there, smiling up at him as the reverand began to officiate the ceremony.

"Do you James Turner, take Susan as your lawful wedded wife to have and to hold, in sickness and in health til death do you part?" he asked.

"I do," James said, and it was easy for me to hear the pride and happiness in his voice.

"And do you, Susan Pevensie, take James as your lawful wedded husband to have and to hold, in sickness and in health til death do you part?" he repeated, looking at me this time.

"I…..I do," I said shakily, feeling the smile spread across my face as I said the words.

The reverand took the rings and handed one to James and one to me and we exchanged them, each of us smiling broadly as we did.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride," the reverand said with a smile.

James took me into his arms and kissed me deeply, causing me to giggle when I pulled away from the kiss as both of us blushed before we turned to face the audience full of our friends. I felt a pang of hurt and pain as I scanned the audience and didn't see my family sitting there but I felt the happiness overwhelm everything else and I couldn't help the smile that stayed on my face as I looked up at James again. I took his hand and let him lead me back down the aisle and out of the church into the sunshine.

"You miss them don't you?" he asked me softly, once we were outside and making our way down the path in the church yard.

"I do and it makes me sad that they couldn't be here to see it but I know that wherever they are, they are happy and besides, I think that this perfect day is their gift to me," I said, smiling as I looked at him when we stopped walking and he pulled me against him, kissing me deeply again.

I sighed in content happiness, knowing that my brothers and sister were watching me and knew that I was just as happy as they must have been for me.

"I think you may be right," James said.

"I love you," I said.

"I love you too Mrs. Turner….. I really do like that sound of that," he said, causing me to giggle and blush at his flattery.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so there it is, the last chapter save the epilogue. Hopefully you like the happy ending. I just couldn't imagine Susan's story ending on a sad note after losing everything and everyone she loved like she did at the end of LB. Anyway, thanks to everyone who has stuck with this story and reviewed or favorited it and I hope you have enjoyed reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Let me know what you think in a review. Thanks so much. :)


	15. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue: Okay, so here it is. This takes place in the future and is a bit bittersweet but I always intended the ending to be this way. I wanted to write a story about Susan being able to find the happiness she deserved after she lost her family but I also felt that she needed to be reunited with her siblings so this epilogue ends the story that way. Don't worry though, it still has a happy ending because I am such a sucker for those :) Anyway, enjoy.

Susan POV

I made my way slowly through the apple orchard, smiling as I looked up at the trees and saw them blooming much as they had in the springtime when myself, Peter, Ed and Lucy had ruled Narnia at Cair Paravel. I took a deep breath as I came out of the tree line, seeing Lucy and Mr. Tumnus sitting underneath one of the trees at the start of the orchard, closest to Cair Paravel, talking and laughing together. Neither of them had seen me yet and I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face at that as I continued to make my way toward them. Lucy finally looked up from the book she was reading with Mr. Tumnus and saw me standing there about ten feet from them and she dropped the book as she stood up quickly. She let out a happy laugh and came tearing toward me, throwing her arms around my neck as I hugged her tightly and started laughing and crying at the same time.

"Susan, you're finally home," she said, pulling out of the hug to look at me.

All I could do was nod as I felt her reach up and wipe the tears off my cheeks before hugging me tightly again.

"I've missed you so much," she said, which just caused fresh tears to start sliding down my face again.

"Oh Lu, I've missed you too. So much more than you could ever know," I said with a sob, "Where are Ed and Peter?"

"Up at the castle. Come on, I'll take you to them," she said.

I couldn't help laughing at her eagerness and it felt so good to laugh with her again.

"No Lu. You stay here and enjoy your picnic with Mr. Tumnus and I will find them," I said.

"Are you sure? I mean, Mr. Tumnus won't mind me taking you to them," she said.

"I'm positive. I can find them and then I will come back and we can all catch up with one another," I said.

I gave Mr. Tumnus a smile and a hug when he saw me and got up to come over before I made my way up the path and then up the steps to Cair Paravel. I hesitated for a minute when I got to the great doors but it was only for a minute before I pushed the doors open silently and made my way inside. I could hear voices coming from the great hall so I made my way in that direction. I stopped outside the doors to the great hall, looking down at myself before I entered. I was dressed in my old Narnian style dress and I had to smile at the fact that my husband and my children knew my style well enough to know what I would want to be buried in when I died and came back to Aslan's country. I also felt a pang of sadness and loss both for myself and for them knowing that I would not see them for many years to come most likely. I heard Aslan speaking and I also heard Peter and Ed arguing and teasing one another while Caspian tried to reason with both of them to no avail. I smiled as I slowly stepped away from the door and actually made my way into the throne room. Aslan was the first to notice me and I kneeled when he came over to me.

"Rise Queen Susan. Welcome home my child," He said, breathing on me and taking my sorrow and my fear from me as He smiled at me.

"Oh Aslan," I said, throwing my arms around his neck and burying my face in his mane.

"Susan…" I heard Peter say, almost as if he were in shock.

I turned to see him coming toward me and the next thing I knew, I was wrapped in his arms in one of the biggest hugs he had ever given me. I returned it with all my strength, holding on to him as if I would never see him again like so many times before in my dreams.

"Peter, oh how I've missed you. I'm so happy to see all of you again," I said when he let me go, instead taking my hand and pulling me over to the throne where I used to sit.

"We've missed you too, haven't we Ed?" he asked, turning to Edmund.

Edmund just nodded before he pulled me back up off the throne and wrapped me in a hug similar to the one I had just received from both Lucy and Peter.

"Welcome home Susan," he whispered into my ear and I could hear the smile in his voice as he said it.

Once he had pulled away, I saw Caspian standing there, looking slightly awkward but smiling just like everyone else.

"Queen Susan," he said softly, with a bow.

"Just Susan Caspian. And are we not friends?" I asked with a smile.

"We are," he said, sounding slightly confused.

My smile widened and I threw my arms around him in a hug, giggling slightly when he wrapped his arms lightly around my shoulders and gave them a squeeze before I released him.

Back in London

James Turner stood in the cemetery down the street from the little stone church where he was reverand with his three almost grown children, William, Helen, and Georgiana watching as dirt was shoveled over a casket. He was smiling despite the tears in his eyes and his breaking heart because he knew that his beautiful, gentle wife Susan was in a better place and with her siblings, happy and carefree. He had watched the cancer ravage her body for four long years before it had finally claimed her life at the young age of 48 and although she was no longer with them to watch her children marry and start families of their own, he knew she was watching them from Heaven alongside her siblings and parents and he was thankful to God that he had found her and they had managed to have 26 years of marriage and love, and three beautiful children together.

"Daddy," Georgiana said with a sniffle as she watched the last of the dirt being shoveled over her mother's casket, "I am going to miss mummy."

"We all will Georgie, but she will always be with us in our hearts and one day we will see her again," James said, giving his youngest daughter, who was now nearly 19, a hug.

As everyone began to leave the cemetery, James could have sworn he heard a voice on the breeze as he turned away from the fresh grave on the green hillock.

"I love all of you and I will always be with you," it seemed to say softly.

Now, James Turner was a sensible enough man to know that ghosts didn't really exist but as he turned and looked back at the four headstones at the top of the hillock, each one covered in fresh flowers, he wondered if maybe God did allow ghosts or spirits to come to Earth in order to offer comfort to those grieving for the loss of loved ones and as he looked up at the sky and saw the sunlight peek through the clouds, he couldn't help but close his eyes and imagine it was his wife giving him comfort as she always had, without words, in her gentle, caring way.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I know that the last chapter had an ending but I felt that this was much more appropriate as Susan wanted nothing more, in my opinion, than to be reunited with her family after they had died. This seemed like a bittersweet way to end it but it also seemed appropriate to end it this way because it gives Susan a truly happy ending. Also, the names for her two eldest children came from re-reading Pride and Prejudice and Mansfield Park since these names are two of the main characters names in each of those stories and I love those two books. Anyway, thank you so very much to all those who have reviewed, favorited, put on alert or just read this story and stuck with me to the end of it. I hope you had as much fun reading the story as I did writing it.


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